Thursday, October 20, 2011

Just 'Cause I'm On A Diet Doesn't Mean I'm Dead.

I flirt shamelessly.  I sass the pizza guy for discounts on my weekly pie, I pout at the owner of the deli to get free cookies (he's gay and it still works!), and I use my phone sex voice when I need something from guy on the phone.  I admit, it gives me a secret thrill to have a sexual power over these guys.  TH calls it sex as a weapon and admonishes me when I do it.  It doesn't make him mad.  He just says it's not fair.  I'm silently promising something these men will never get.  They know it. I know it.  It's all in good fun and TH gets extra pizza.  We all win.

I was reading this article on The Huffington Post yesterday.  (LINK)  It was about a couple who kept their marriage fresh by harmless flirting.  Now, I have to say they were a bit more extreme than I would be.  I would never go over a persons house to help them get bread out of a pan and stay for cocktails.  But, I indulge myself with some back and forth every day or so.  You've seen me do it on my Facebook page.  Do I meet up with these guys and have hot illicit affairs?  Hell No!  I have a gorgeous, sexy, amazing husband in my bed (sometime on the couch).  I have no room or need in my life for another penis.  But, it never stops me from playing the game.

I got an email the other day from a fan.  He mentioned he had erased some comments because he was worried his wife might not approve.  I understood.  I wrote back and told him I could relate with his wife. (I also offered to meet her for drinks so she could see I'm totally harmless).  He wrote back and told me he felt like a piece of shit because he didn't want me to think he would treat his wife poorly or seem like a bad husband.  I didn't think that at all.  He's been around the page for awhile and we email now and then.  He's a sweet guy.  (and very cute too, I will add).  I would NEVER think way about him.  He is a decent.  I wrote him a long email back and let him know we were totally cool.  He should never worry about the flirtations with me.  If he wanted to stop any back and forth, I was fine with him.  We're good now.  Back to being buddies.....and discussing the finer points of foot massage and my thoughts of lesbianism toward the girl who does my pedicures.

Now, you may ask what is going on during these flirtations.  NOTHING.  If I'm sparring with you via email or on Facebook, it's all in good fun.  I don't have my hands down my pants and I'm not breathing heavy.  More often than not, I'm doing some major financial crap or solving an IT crisis while we're talking.  I shall give you a moment to marvel at my skillz.  Sexual innuendos and whiz bang accounting calculations.  I am a goddess.

Keeping a marriage fresh is hard work.  I've only been at it for 4 years and I feel it.  Those of you going on 10-15 years and you're still getting down and dirty after that amount of time, I bow to you.  If you want to email me your secrets, please do.  (No pictures.  I've filled my quota this year all ready).  Harmless, fun and sexy flirtations with a hot piece is an excellent way to add spice to your life without ruining your marriage. "Looky no touchy." The old saying holds true, "Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't look at the menu".  If the menu has a sexy man holding a piece of dough smothered with sauce and cheese, I will.


  1. gotta comment...i agree 100%. Ive been maried 23 years, gotta rockin body (i work out 4xs a week), i love boys and they love me back but i love my husband even more. He loves watching when im workin a crowd cuz he knows im savin it all for him...i still got my sexy and use it ALL the time..makes me feel soooooo good!

  2. ;):;;0)))))))))0))) how r u a lil lady