About Me

I am a freelance writer, bibliophile and foodie who says it like it is and I don't have an edit button.  When I'm not reading, writing, cooking or eating, I can be found embarrassing my friends with my outgoing personality, trolling used bookstores for vintage cookbooks or crying into a bottle of wine.  I have never won any literary awards, published a book or anything else that would require serious commitment as a writer.  But, I'm seriously thinking about it now that I don't have a real job.

I love food...fabulous food. I'm constantly trying new recipes and adding to my shelf breaking collections of cookbooks. (We passed obsessive years ago). I own a lettuce knife, three kinds of zesters and don't get me started on my love affair with sea salt. Fresh mozzarella should be served at least once a week and carb haters go to hell.

And surprise, surprise....I like sex. Lots and lots of sex. Naughty, loud, uninhibited, leave your pants at the door sex. I also like to talk about it....and I will....ALL THE TIME. Be warned.

I am, and forever will be, a "guys-gal". I like sports, drink beer, occasionally belch within hearing of others etc, etc. I don't shun female friendship, I just don't welcome it. Girls are whiny, conceited, competitive creatures. Working in an office with a bunch of women is like getting a bikini wax....uncomfortable and sticky. And even though parts of it don't hurt, there is always that one surprising area that sneaks up on you.

The girly-girl side of me is there. I have a shoe collection that would make Imelda Marcos proud and I continuously get raging urges for something sweet-crunchy-salty to eat on a monthly basis that must be satisfied or I turn into Medusa. I have a standing appointment for a mani/pedi every two weeks and I can quote any line from Sex and the City verbatim. I worship at the alter of George Clooney and I am hopelessly hooked on re-runs of Friends.

As life would have it, I enjoy an iced down (never refrigerated) Budweiser, while watching a NASCAR race and counting the days until the Bruins first puck hits the ice. I can say blow job without making a face and I'm not embarrassed to admit that I have googled "Jessica Alba naked pictures" to see if she really looks that good. She does and she is a hottie. (although I secretly hate her and if she happened to balloon up to 200 pounds I'd probably have a parade running through my head, complete with clowns yelling "whoopee!") I would rather go to a rock concert than go to the mall and there is a good chance at some point today, I will fart. (though I won't admit it, even if you tortured me)

Should you wish to say hello  or ask me a question, email me at utterlysinful@gmail.com.

Later, lovers