Tuesday, November 10, 2009

RTT - I Have No Title For This One

Some of you were very curious about TH reaction to my day of nude posing. Truthfully, he barely batted an eye. When I called him to say I was on my way home and I'd just been naked for 2 hours in front of 2 women and my nude body was painted on canvas, all he was concerned with was what I was bringing home for dinner. (this was after a few cracks about girl on girl action. I swear, the man is dying for me to be a lesbian) Sorry to burst your bubble. But, seriously....the man lives with me. Do you really think anything surprises him anymore?
I'm sorry to be a traitor to my sex and enrage feminists everywhere, but vagina's are really ugly looking. Sorry ladies, but a full frontage close up of the Va Jay Jay is gnarly. I thought it would be fun to take a sexy picture with my phone and send it to TH as a kind of "look what you're gonna get when you get home". After much twisting, jockeying and total frustration in the ladies room stall, I managed to get a decent shot. I took one look and decided if I really did want to get laid that night, I'd better erase the picture and pretend it never happened.

I'm not sure if you care, but I'm posing nude again this Saturday. Apparently, my butt is really really cute and needs to be painted some more.

If Partner #3 calls my office and I'm feeling sassy and snarky, I'll answer the phone "Yes, Your Highness?" or "How May I Help You, Your Holiness" or the ever popular "What do you want now?" So when he called me the other day, I answered "Good Morning, Your Lordship. How may I serve thee today?" There was a pause on the other end and he said "Um, I have (insert name of major Big Shot at a huge corporation) on the phone with me and we're conferencing you in for a phone meeting". Thankfully, Mr. Big Shot had a sense of humor and said, "WOW! I wish I could get my assistant to address me that way".

I have just learned that my inlaws, my brother in-law and sister in-law are all coming for Thanksgiving.....again. If any of you Facebook stalkers were thinking about kidnapping me, now is a perfect time.

What does one do to get an entourage? I feel I should have one.


  1. Close-up pornography = BAD. Back it up a bit, show the curves, don't stick it right in there, cuz you're right, it ain't the prettiest thing in the whole wide world :)

  2. My wife and I were discussing the unappealingness of the vaj, and she pointed out that there are a lot of ugly dicks out there, too.

    I couldn't disagree, because I don't troll around the interwebs looking for dick pics. Now I know what she does when I'm not around.

  3. I love the way you were addressing the owner on the call and love that you have a place to work where you get to use your humor.

    Family at Thanksgiving tip - lots of cocktails.

  4. They don't call it an "axe wound" for nothin' sweetheart!

  5. They look much better if you just take the picture with your legs closed. Lying on your back. Maybe a few rose petals or a white feather laying on your thigh.

  6. Sounds like Aunty J has some experience ;-)

    They never look good up close, and yet people insist on sticking their heads down there. Go figure.

    I wish I could address my boss that way and get away with it :)

  7. Yeah, there's one word that explains why I couldn't be a lesbian: VAGINA!

    Come to think of it, balls are seriously ugly, too...

  8. Dude, I go away for a week and you're all naked and stuff? Ha!

    The morning dumper probably thought he found the holy grail of secret bathrooms.

  9. I'm liking the vajajay better these days. I think it comes from having a daughter. Anything she has must be great.