Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts - Facebook, Dirty Sexy Men and Two Hams.

The other day, I walk into the office kitchen while an associate was preparing his lunch. I watched in horror as he dumped two big spoonfuls of mayonnaise on his garden salad and sprinkled it with oregano. Then, I threw up in my mouth and left the room.

I'm on Facebook now and you need to be my #1 Fan! Just search "Utterly Fabulous" and you'll find my page. Just do it and I'll stop whining about it. I would like to get at least 100 fans by the end of the week. Please don't make me sign up to be my own fan. Then I'll cry, I'll feel pathetic and it will just make me whine more. Do you want that?? Do you want to hurt my feelings? Do ya??

Did you know the word "crotch" also means " a fork in a tree, road or river"? The next time I give directions I plan to say "Go down Main Street and take a right at the crotch in the road".

I know Johnny Depp has been voted sexiest man and he most certainly has my vote. But, I wonder....does anyone else think he looks like he hasn't showered in weeks? I'm not saying I'd throw the guy outta bed. I just think he looks like he might be a bit malodorous. Possibly a cross between toe jam and unwashed hair.

I saw this outfit on my latest trip to the supermarket.

If you know this woman and you really care about her, please tell her not everyone should wear leggings in public. Just because anorexic Lindsay Lohan trounces around in leggings doesn't give license to the general public. I don't even wear leggings unless I have a VERY baggy shirt that covers my entire ass. If dress appropriately, this woman probably has a very nice figure. In this outfit, it looks like she's trying to smuggle two hams out of the store in her pants.

That's a wrap, lovers. Stay warm, stay lubed up and love someone tonight.


  1. ditto to BAG's comment. chicken salad...maybe (i'm more of a miracle whip girl). regular salad...EW.

    johnny's still rockin the capt. jack sparrow thing. at least, that's what i keep telling myself in order to rationalize his lack of bathing.

  2. Mayo should only be used for French Fries and ham sandwiches. Other than that? Hmm.

    Johnny is yummy..but yes, a tad unwashed looking. But like you, I wouldn't send him packing.