Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Facts and My Reflections

The internet is a fabulous, dirty place.  I'm an information junkie.  Okay.  Let me rephrase....I am a information junkie as long as it's the kind of information not brought up in professional or high class environments.  I also enjoy a random, totally mindless, completely irrelevant fact - Did you know Vasco De Gama sailed around the tip of Africa to India?  I learned this pointless tidbit in 5th grade and have been unable to get rid of the information.  I am a wealth of trivial trivia! (say that 4 times fast).  Don't sit next to me at a cocktail party.  You will leave much more informed and a hellava lot horrified.

Fact #1. During sweaty sex, men ooze testosterone. And it's actually a biological turn on for women!  

Ahem....I do not want anyone to "ooze" anything all over me.  It's bad enough trying to get cum out of your hair.

Fact #2. There's almost 500 different types of bacteria in your mouth. Almost 50% of them live on your tongue.

I'm over it.  If I'm going to put a penis in my mouth, I'm not worried about tongue bacteria.

Fact # 3. One out of seventeen, or 400,000,000 people have sex a day. 4,000 people are doing it right now!

I just finished - wait a this sex with other people or sex with yourself.  I'm confused. I need to Google.

Fact# 4. The hotter the room, the fiercer the orgasm. Vasocongestion, or the heat flush on your skin, is akin to blushing from sex.

I have decided to keep the temperature on the cool side.  (See Fact #1)  We're trying to prevent the "ooze"

Fact # 5. The pelvic spasms caused by an orgasm actually move sperm up stream towards fertilizing your eggs.

I really wish I could un-learn this.

Fact #6. Seventy-three-percent of 70-year-old men are still potent.

There is still hope for me and Sean Connery!!!!

Fact# 7. The endorphins released during sex actually relieve a headache.

It's called falling asleep!

Fact #8. Back in 1609, Dr. Wecker found a dead man with two peckers! Since, 80 cases of double headers have been reported.

I bet these guys had their hands down their pants 24/7.

Fact #9. You can go from zero to 60 fast! The fastest speed a sexy sensation can travel from your va-jay-jay to your brain has been clocked at the Ferrari-fast speed of 156 mph.

Who is studying this???  Don't we have global warming, cancer and other major disasters to work on?  What is wrong with you people.

Fact #10. Erotic asphyxiation didn't just kill INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence. Cutting off oxygen to your brain to feel a strong new sensation during sex causes around 500 American deaths every year.

I'm all for the kinky shit, but this is a little over my head.

Later, Lovers! 

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