I'm obsessed with our UPS and FedEx guys.
There is nothing better than a man in uniform who brings you gifts on a daily basis. Better yet, these men are in amazing shape from jumping in and out of their trucks, lugging big boxes of freight and climbing flight upon flight of stairs to reach their destination. Granted, most of the time I'm not happy to get half of the packages; contracts, notices, gigantic boxes of office supplies. But, these guys could drop a pile of manure on my desk and I would bat my eyes and give a flirtatious smile the would make Scarlett O'Hara proud.
I have a private office that is nowhere near the front of the building. The FedEx guy knows this, bypasses the reception area and brings the package directly too me. He's only here for a split second, but its a wonderful moment in time. The legs on this man would make a triathlete green with envy and don't even get me started on his ass. Those shorts fit so snug....oh the agony!
The UPS guy does the same exact thing.
There is something about a man in uniform. During their civilian time, they walk among us as mere mortals. But as soon as they slip into that matching shirt and shorts, they become gods. A guy can look completely ordinary in street clothes. Someone that you may not glance at more than once. Dress him in a FedEx uniform and I will swoon at his feet. I've almost run off the road gawking at the mountain bike cops; another souce of uniform splender! Why they ever took the show Pacific Blue of the air is a mystery to me.
Don't even get me started on the men in the armed forces. Whenever TH and I attend a NASCAR race, I always find an excuse to meander by the Army recruitment tent. Clean cut, incredibly fit men, wearing camouflage fatigues with combat boots. I'm getting flushed just writing about it! I've told TH that if he ever dressed up in any sort of military outfit, there would be some serious bedroom antics in his future.
No wonder male strippers often dress as cops or some other uniformed profession. I've realized that receptionists have all the fun. They get to see these guys all the time. I'm lucky that my guys come find me. But, I have to wonder....what other uniformed visitors am I missing sitting in a private office? My mid afternoon fantasy often starts like this: The FedEx guy drops my package on the desk. Asks me to sign that computer thing. Then, he locks those dreamy eyes on me, slowly leans over my desk and whispers in my ear, "How would you like to see my package" I know it's cliche, but when you're stressed out to the max for 10 hours straight, cliche is all I've got. It's sad that I would probably not even notice this man wearing ordinary clothes. But, in a matching shirt and top, carrying a overnight letter he becomes the object of my fantasy. George Clooneys of the world be warned!
Fancy Pants loves to make fun of my glazed expression as I longingly watch them from my office window. It makes me sad to think that soon it will be Fall and the weather will be getting colder. That means no more shorts, no more checking out the amazing calves on the beautiful men who walk into this office every day.