Thursday, November 6, 2008

A Naughty Girl Night

I have been a bad, bad girl. TH's is at a conference tonight and I've been misbehaving.

I tried to take a picture of my crime, but I have a new laptop and cannot figure out where my picture software is hiding and the camera is currently holding the photos hostage.

I am so guilty. I just made out with an entire plate of sushi and pot stickers. It was soooooo good!

I'm sitting home alone while my husband is driving back from his conference in the rain. My boyfriend Tivo is quietly recording our shows and I'm hanging out in my home office.

I'm still hungry.

Ever since I started this fucking diet all I have blogged about is food. I called Josh to dish some more gossip and he chastised me on my blogging subjects. "Not to be mean or anything, but it's been kind of boring lately", he said after I told him some naughty secrets and devilish thoughts to stick up on the closet shelves.

He's right! I have lost my touch. I have been so wrapped up in food that I have neglected my foreswore duty to horrify the ever loving shit outta you guys. I haven't mentioned my new vibrator, discussed a sexual position or talked about an off color topic. I'm currently reading a book called "KINK- The Hidden Sex Lives of Amercians" and I haven't mentioned it once!

I've got 2 hours until Big K gets home. I'm going to go use my new vibrator....twice, read "KINK" and watch some porn. I need to bring some naughty back into my life!

Some of you left comments on my last post that were deleted when I stupidly pressed "reject" instead of "publish". I'm so sorry for that and you may give me a virtual beating if you'd like.


  1. Don't overdose on the Naughty... That would make for an awkward intervention.

  2. I forgot to tell you I love the new layout. Very purty!

    Kink it up, my dear. I'm sick of thinking and reading about food. It's amazing how obsessed you get with it when you tell yourself you're on a diet.

    Oh, and what kind of vibrator did you get? How many stars would you give it? Thumbs up, thumbs down?

    Holy shit, Kink Mama, the annoying word verification was flatio. Not the exact spelling, but I'm picking up on your mind control. Nice, very nice!

  3. Unless the aforementioned picture involves the vibrator...Zzzzzzz!

    Just kidding, but injecting some sex and fornication into this blog would definitely be helpful to those of us who need to live vicariously through others when it comes to that department.

  4. Badass: I won't overdo it, you prude. Just enough to turn the tips of your ears red

    Lola: Thanks! Still not a purdy as yours. I'm gonna have Badass work me up as soon as I can. I'm just crazy busy.

    I've got the newer version of the Hustler wet and wild mini. Waterproof baby! Good stuff, but only one speed.

    Daddyfiles: No, you perv. It was a picture of my makeoutfest with the not that kind of sushi either! You should be so lucky!

  5. Oooh, I'm on my way to Google that!

  6. Since HASAY and Weight Watchers, I have been counting sex as exercise/activity points. Seriously. ;-)

  7. Go for the shower head instead, easier cleanup! ;)

  8. Seriously Mama: Girl, you can burn more calories than a good run sometimes!

    Casey: I've gotta get one of those! Our's is afixed to the wall. I'm not that acrobatic! I've got the Hustler new "wet and wild". You use it in the shower! Lovin' it!!!