Friday, October 24, 2008

My junk, my lovely lady junk.

Seeing that I'm enormously grouchy today brought on by being blown off last night by my Brazilian Mistress of Pain and the impending arrival of Medusa, I have a short one for all of you today. This is better than me ranting about something insignificant just to vent my rage.

I stole this idea from Rachel over at Party of One.

Ladies, empty your purses.....Gentlemen, your pockets. Show me what ya got!

I ran downstairs to an unused office and took this picture. This is a catalog of all my shit:
Prada Bag - gift from Mom
Wallet - I've had it forever and there is at least $50 of change in the pocket part. It weighs a ton!
iPod - Constant companion.
Wetnaps - I have no idea why they're in there
Gum: Usually there is more than one pack. I'm low.
Tube of lip plumper: Makes me look like I got my lips stuck in a vacuum and tastes terrible. It's also super sticky and I always get my hair caught in it.
Burts Bee's chap stick: I live in New England. Chapped lips are a year round problem.
Matchbook: From a wedding 2 years ago. The matches barely work.
Keys: DUH
Pens: Currently, I only have 3. I can promise you that by the end of the day I'll have at least 4 more. I tend to "steal" pens from places I go.
Hairbrush: For emergency "do" repair.
Business Card Holder
Checkbook: Why I have this, I have no idea. I use my credit/debit card for everything and I can't remember the last time I wrote a check
Address Book: I've had 4 Palm Pilots and they all crapped out on me. I write it all on paper now.
Sunglasses: Stole these sweet Oakleys from Big K. I broke mine.
Broken Eyeliner pencil
Kiwi Lip Gloss: So yummy
Rock that says "Thank you": A woman I worked with gave it to me. I have no idea why I still have it.
Big Round Rock: I got this at a seminar on Child Abuse when I was still in college. The rocks are gathered on the beaches of the Cape and given to child abuse victims to give them power. I love it because it fits in my hand perfectly and makes me feel calm. Also, when someone asks me "Why the fuck is your purse so heavy. Do you have rocks in it" I can answer, "Why yes, I do!"
Cap from a Bud Light bottle: Left over from tailgating at the Pats game on Monday. (Don't clean out my purse that much)
Listerine Strips: I drink lots of coffee and quite often catch a case of dragon breath. These work in a pinch.
Pocket Micro Cruizer Scan Disk Storage Device: You never know when you're gonna have to upload a file (I'm such a geek)
Dirty Chocolate Lollipop: Yes, I am currently schlepping around a chocolate lollipop in the shape of a vagina. Surfer Dude gave it to me as a joke and I haven't done anything with it yet. I'm having dinner with friends on Saturday so it will be a fun conversation piece. I can't bring myself to eat it.
I also have a few fem. products, but I thought those would be in bad taste to photograph. I did have a remote control egg vibrator, but the batteries died. I am currently "without sex toy".
Alright, I've showed you mine, you show me yours. You've all been mime. Get on it!


  1. With the title of this post, I thought I'd be looking a picture of your ass, not your purse contents.

    My wallet is so empty that it's a black hole.

  2. Lovely lollipop! I have penis straws in my pantry...
    I don't carry a purse so all you'd get from my pockets is a cell phone, keys, ID and credit card. Maybe some chap stick. Lame, I know...

  3. Oh, dear lord, that would take me all damn day. I promise I'll do it if I find the time, but I warn you that it's a place where all sorts of things go and never come back out.

    Love the lolli! Why so grouchy?

  4. So I've got nothing better to do on a Friday night and I'm making the rounds. What do you have planned for HASAY this weekend? Anything good? Make me proud!

  5. I recently sorted out my voluminous handbag and put everything in little plastic bags so I could find stuff.

    You know, all the lippies in one back, biros in another, bits of paper that I probably should keep somewhere safer in another.

    So all the same crap is in there but it's now ORGANISED crap.


  6. My purse contains dustbunnies. I don't carry one. I always wear something with pockets and I carry my wallet and cellphone in them. I very rarely go anywhere that I need more than that, but I do own a pretty green Fossil purse I use in that event. Even weddings.

  7. I love the rock!!! but mostly the response "why, yes I do." part, not the lugging around.

  8. The rock? Soooo sweet. I have one too, but it holds no meaning other than my son continually picks them up and puts them in my purse. Prada? Fancy-schmancy! Can you tell your mom when my birthday is? Also, I steal pens. I warn people that I do this. I don't mean to, they just magically find their way into my purse or my hair. Good luck on HAYSAY! I love the idea of a diet dominatrix. I may borrow that line with some linky love for you, of course!

  9. I love the bag! And all the stuff in it.
    You are my kind of gal.