RRT - Dead Bodies, My Twins, Loud Farts and a Sweat Mustache

Am I the only one worried they haven't buried Michael Jackson yet? It's been like a month already. It's not like he's gonna stay fresh or anything.

I really need to stop being a VinDiesel fan on Facebook. Every time one of his assistants posts something for him, I think he's talking just to me. Once reality hits, it's such a slap in the face. I am so pathetic.

There are somethings in our relationship that TH and I just don't share. For me, it's farting. I have never just rip in front of him. Sure, the accidental ones slip thru and I do the cough thing and change the subject. But lately, TH has been making up for lost time. And when he farts, he likes to blame it on the dog. I told him, there is no way in hell he could get that by me (except for the silent but deadly ones. Those are hard to place). He's a big guy, therefore, LOUD farts. Seriously, lovers. He has woken me up from a dead sleep. I thought we were in the middle of a thunderstorm. I told him if those farts were from the dog, the it would have exploded upon execution.

The other day, a guy was stumbling across my office parking lot drinking a beer. (Before you think, "Hey, that's happens in my city all the time", you need to realize that this is Cape Cod. That doesn't happen here, EVER). Fancy Pants and I were staring my office window at him, when he stopped, bent over and puked right in front of the window. Apparently, he'd just had spaghetti a few hours before.

My mother has decided I'm going to have twins. She's even named them for me: Gwendolyn Helen and Charlotte Eva. I wonder if she would like to carry them for me and pay for their college education as well. I swear, every time I turn around the woman has me knocked up. Just a few months ago, she would pale at the thought of being a grandmother. Suddenly, she's decided it would be fun and is making up for lost time with excess badgering.

The summer is almost over and TH finally installed the air conditioners last Thursday. Now, we can enjoy them for a whole 3 weeks until we have to take them out for the fall. The only way TH can sleep comfortably is for the temperature to hover around 59 degrees. I'm back to wearing flannel pj's to bed. The complaint that my bedroom attire is "less than sexy" should come within the next few days.

Speaking of fall, I'm ready. Between the excessive rain and unbearable humidity, I'm done with summer. I'm tired of walking out the door and getting a sweat mustache before I even get to my car. My hair has been unmanageable and I am tired of doing the sniff test of my armpits after only 5 hours. This weather challenges the most powerful of deodorants.