Friday, August 21, 2009

Toy of The Month Review - Curiousity Killed The Orgasm

I've always been a sucker for a hands free device. I love my bluetooth. I love the remotes for the TV, the air conditioner, the stereo and basically a voice activated anything. I nearly wet myself when I found the "say a command" feature on my Blackberry. No more scanning thru the 700 names in the phone just to call my Mom's cell phone (I cannot for the life of me remember it). All I had to do is hit a tiny button and the nice computer lady with the British accent would do the rest. If I could just get the "talk to type" working on my laptop, I would be ecstasy.

Wouldn't you know it, I've always been intrigued by the hands free sex toys. No more putting down the TV remote to work another vibration angle. I can't begin to count the number of times I've picked one up off the shelf, looked it over, then put it down to check out another item. This month, my curiosity got the best of me and I emailed my contact over at Eden Fantasy's and asked for the Power G Arouser. Once again, I let my eyes do the buying and I picked out something colored purple. I also read the reviews and everyone else seemed to like it. How could I go wrong? It is also made without phthalates. I'm trying to be a good girl and go green.

As always, it arrived discreetly packaged like a present from Grandma. The guys at the post office think I have an eBay obsession. Little do they know, I'm trying to find new and exciting ways to get my rocks off. I picked it up during my lunch break (READ: doing an errand for the boss) and I struggled to get thru the rest of the work day knowing my next orgasm was waiting in my car.

When I arrived home I eagerly tore open the package and pulled out my latest prize. The Power G Arouser features a 3 1/2 inch contoured shaped shaft designed to hit your g-spot with a front nubby piece to tingle your love button and a back nubby piece to tickle your tush. The three straps are designed to hold the toy in place while you relax and control the power with a small remote.

I was a little disappointed that directions were not included with the product. It took me a few minutes to get my bearings and figure out how to strap myself in. One of the straps went around my waist and the other two straps went around each thigh with the toy firmly nestled in. (I will tell you at this point I ran in to the bathroom to check myself out in the full length mirror and had a good laugh. I looked like I was about to hitch up to a rope and go rock climbing.)

Exhausted from the set up, I laided back, grabbed the remote and checked out the vibrations. The lowest setting was disappointing, so I cranked that sucker all the way up to high. The vibrator part vibrated, but the little nubby pads that were strategically placed to hit those "special places" stayed immobile. It seems all of the power was concentrated on the shaft and not where I needed it. Not one to back away from a challenge, I opened one of my favorite erotic novels and decided to read to get the juices flowing. After all, this was a "G-spot" toy. I could give it a few more minutes.

15 minutes later....nothing. I took a break for a few hours and tried again using my favorite porn movie this time....nothing.

Sadly, I had to give up (not before I pulled out late months favorite and polished myself off in 30 seconds. The bunny and I have become BBFs) My desire for hands free had left me orgasm free.

On a scale from 1-10, (10 being the highest) here are the ratings.

Strength of vibrations: 2

Ease of use: 1 (It takes waaaaaay too long to set up)

Water Play: n/a (sad!)

Quietness: 9 (Everything is internal. It barely whispers)

Power Use: n/a (Uses 2 AA batteries. I've since taken them out for use with other toys)

Cleaning Ease: 7 (Wipe with a soft cloth moistened with water)

Fear not, lovers. Another toy is on the way. Those fabulous little elves at Eden are sending me something else to find my orgasm. Poor Big K. He's gonna have to pump up the volume until it arrives.


  1. Bummer, dude! I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

  2. Yeah, I don't want one of those as my prize! Pick out one of your faves for me. Oh, and all of my toys are purple, too. Not sure why.

  3. I'm sorry you were disappointed with this new toy but thanks for the review. I'm in the market so every review helps. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be too much of a hardship for Big K to keep you entertained.

  4. Good God woman. I can't believe you sit at home and strap on all of this apparatus just to get off. I'm not a girl but I have to believe it's just not worth the effort.

    But seriously, I want to know if Big K is home during these tryouts or if he's ever come home to find you in your "rock climbing" gear. Is he used to stuff like that or does it take him by surprise. Because honestly, I'm not sure how I'd react if I came home and found MJ all strapped up like a science experiment.

  5. Yeah I would have given up after having to struggle to get strapped in. It's just not worth that much effort I don't think. I applaud your stamina though!