Tuesday, September 15, 2009

RRT - The Virgin Goddess, Zits & Bee's Make Me Horny

I don't understand why the pizza guy always thinks we have guests. Why wouldn't you order a large pizza with two toppings, a large steak & extra cheese sub, a large order of mozzarella sticks and a large order of garlic sticks for two people. Are you calling me a pig?

The tomato basil bisque at Lamberts Farm Market, Centerville MA is better than good foreplay. I'm just telling you this in case you're ever in the area and want to cum in your pants.

I figured one of the benefits of being married is you have a captive audience. Someone to share all of your discoveries. So, I don't understand why my husband doesn't want to share the awe, horror and disgust of an excellent new zit.

Speaking of zits, have you ever worked super hard to pop one and when you finally get it done you're secretly disappointed it's over. You know you have. Admit it.

I'm already torturing myself with thoughts of hosting Thanksgiving again this year. Remember the disaster last year? Right now, I'm pretending the holiday doesn't exist.

I miss the show "The West Wing". I wasn't really interested in politics until a few years ago. The West Wing was enough for me. Then I showed my utter ignorance when I confused something happening on the show with real life. Awkward moment.

I get horny watching the Nasonex commercial. The voice of the bee is Antonio Banderas. The man is a 9.5 on the damp panties scale.

Have you ever discovered a gigantic bruise and wondered how in the world it got there? I got out of the shower the other morning and saw an enormous bruise on my thigh. Now, I'm trying to figure out a what point a Mack truck ran into me. Of course, this has nothing to do with my lack of coordination and the fact I walk into objects all the time. This recent bruise is probably a result of walking into the corner of my desk. I do it three or four times a day when I'm rushing out of my office to unjam the copier before it erupts into a ball of flames from an associate trying to use it while it's jammed.

I have decided to go to the library to save money. My book budget is out of control because I read more books in a week than most people do in a year. After looking over my credit card statement from the last two months, I've concluded that I could feed a small nation on the amount I spent at the book store. Unfortunately, my town library is only open when I can't get there. If I find the time to grab a few books off the shelf, I can never get back there to renew them if I'm not done reading. Now I'm spending money on overdue fees. I just can't win.

And that's a wrap.


  1. Maybe you should try Amazon, or half.com for used books, it's a lot cheaper than new, and the books are usually in good shape.

    We're trying to decide what to do for Tday too. It's also the same week as my bday and our anniversary. My daughter wants to go with her dad out of town for the actual Thurs-Sun, so we were thinking we might go visit my inlaws, if the weather is decent.

  2. I had to resort to the library. Ugh, I hate it! I want to KEEP my books.

  3. Who is a 10 on your 'damp panties scale'?

  4. I've got a bunch of Stephen King books I could lend... no, just kidding. I'm too attached to my King collection to lend them out.

  5. OUr library mails books to us. Check to see if they have that service. Half Price Books is my favorite haunt these days. Antonio is very hot.

  6. I've been visiting the library lately too. I love buying books, but I can't really justify the expense right now. Mostly.

    And I loved the West Wing.

  7. I had to cut back on my book spending too. First I started to read and resell my books on half.com. Then spend that money on other books on half.com.....then I discovered paperbackswap.com.....you post books and pick books. The only out of pocket is when you mail one of your books to someone else.

  8. Check with your library to see if you can renew over the phone or even yourself on their website.

  9. Yeah I had to start using the library as well. This way, if I find a book that I really truly enjoyed and think its worth owning, I add it to my list and buy it later.

    We buy pizza the same way. And yeah, we're a family of 4, but only two of us eat the stuff :)

    I have the mother of all zit videos on my blog today.....and yesterday ( http://tinyurl.com/nvrhuf ) I told everyone how awesome you are...so go get it :)

  10. We're in the middle of a West Wing marathon right now, actually. Every few years, we throw the DVD's in and relive it. We watched them all back to back once and I seriously thought that Bartlett was our actual president.

  11. I think we're twins separated at birth. Except for the library thing. Not quite that desperate yet. I just get bargains on Amazon.

    I'm so sad we just finished our very last West Wing. Only the extras and behind the scenes to go. We're starting right back at series one after that.

    And zits - I just finished my post on blackheads.

  12. How'd you know about the zit thing? And don't you always get a bit of satisfaction when it busts through at one time?

  13. Libraries are obsolete and serve no purpose anymore. The Internet has rendered them completely useless. They should be torn down so we can stop spending so much money to maintain them.

    And the zit thing? Ugh. You're just like my wife. I'll never understand the fascination with popping huge zits.

  14. I've been in zit popping rehab for years, and I think I've finally kicked the habit. When you get to my age and you pop them, they last FOREVER. Vanity is winning out.

    Now, my dog gets those dog zits, and I pop those suckas all the time. Poor Mojo is my methadone ;)