Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Random Tuesday - Shmeg & Adam Lambert

Do any of you watch "24"? I love to hate that show. Jack Bauer kicks some serious terrorist ass. But, my stress level goes through the roof and I have anxiety for a 1/2 hour pre-show and post-show. I actually catch myself breathing heavy after a stressful scene.

Do you ever use the drive up lane at the bank with the tube portal thingy? Are you like me and never manage to park close enough thus requiring you to launch yourself through the car window, forgetting you have your seatbelt on and end up looking like a total idiot. Make sure you smile when you do it. You're on camera and the bank employees are surely laughing at you.

I'm quite fond of using the word "shmeg" Like, "Um, excuse me. You have some shmeg on your face.". I thought it was another word for stuff. Well, I was just informed my little cutsie word comes from the word "smegma" which means, " a sebaceous secretion in the folds under a man's foreskin. Really. Check it out. I wouldn't lie to you. For reals! It's in the Oxford Dictionary. No pictures, though. Note to all: I will no longer be using the word "shmeg". Unless, I see someone who truly has "shmeg" on themselves. If that's the case....um...Ewwww.

I am the only person not watching "Lost" tonight. Seriously. I don't care.

Facebook has made me it's bitch. I'm logged on all the time. If you haven't become a fan of my page yet, we're just not friends anymore. For reals. No more. Don't call me, don't write and don't even think about asking me to be in your wedding. Okay, maybe I'll do the wedding part. There's a chance I could get some cake.

Dear Tori Spelling,
Thank you, CCG

I have fallen for Adam Lambert. I don't care if he's gay. He's a babe. I wish he was here for my entertainment....right now.

Oh yeah, I've been published on the More Magazine website. You should vote for me. More.com. You would know this if you were my fan on Facebook. See, there are benefits to this. Not just cake for me.

Later, lovers!


  1. Very informative but the shmeg. I had no idea.

  2. I won't be watching Lost. 1) because it ain't on down here yet and 2) I don't give a shit about it.

    And um..yummmmmmy Adam Lambert!

  3. You are nasty and I wonder why my boyfriend Jeff goes to your stupid gross page.

  4. How could my boyfriend Jeff go to your webpage behind my back. You are a nasty Ho and truly tasteless...Ok I just answered my question as to why he goes to your page.

  5. Try shmutz it is Yiddish for a little dirt...as in "You have a little shmutz on your face" or "that floor is all covered with shmutz"
    Women produce smegma too...under the little hood.

  6. Obviously there are two anonymouses (anonymice?) posting this week.