Food can be the deal breaker in a relationship. If man isn't a good feeder, I'd probably kicked him to the curb. There are obviously many other reasons to be with me: I'm good in bed, I have a beautiful bum, I'm fun, I'm good in bed, I have great taste in music, I have a snazzy personality, I'm good in bed, I have sexy hair, I have a good heart and I'm good in bed. See, you want to marry me now too, don't you.
My one crown jewel is my Spaghetti Pie. Men just can't get enough of it. It's slighty pathetic to fall for this dish and not something more complex. I saw a similar recipe in a diet magazine and thought, "you know, that would be awesome if it just has some fat in it." So, Lovers, I give you my secret. If you're single, serve this to your next conquest. I guarantee they'll be your love slave before the last bite. But, don't use low fat or inferior ingredients. It will ruin the taste of the dish. It will also really piss me off.
Spaghetti Pie
Ingredients
1 lb fresh ground beef & sausage mixed (take sausage out of casing)
3 cups homemade marinara (or the jarred stuff - but it better be the good kind)
8 oz sour cream
1/2 c chopped green onions (green and white parts)
8 oz cream cheese, softened
5 cups hot cooked thin spaghetti
2 1/2 cups fresh shredded mozzarella cheese
Good olive oil
Method:
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Drizzle a tablespoon of olive oil in a large skillet. Cook meat in a large skillet over medium heat until browned, stirring to crumble. Drain well, and return meat to pan. Stir in salt, pepper, and marinara sauce. Bring to a simmer, reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
3. Combine the sour cream, green onions, cream cheese and 1 cup of mozzarella cheese in a small bowl, and set aside. Place spaghetti noodles in a casserole dish and toss with a little olive oil. Spread the sour cream mixture over spaghetti noodles. Top with meat mixture. Sprinkle with remaining cheese. Cover and bake at 350 for 35 minutes. Uncover, bake an additional 5 minutes or until cheese is bubbly. Yield 6 servings.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
I Could Be Your Sleep Aid
It wasn't until a few years ago, I began having trouble sleeping. Maybe it's the stress of the job, my age or my addiction to the Food Network combined with my inability to stop watching a show even though it's 2:30 AM and I have to get up at 6 AM. I truly could not tell you why I'm plagued with insomnia. I've tried everything, hot liquids, extensive masturbation, (ya know, because it's been proven after an orgasm, the release of endorphins acts as a natural tranquilizer that relaxes you) boring books - nothing works. Yoga has been the best medicine. After a week of yoga classes, I sleep like a newborn babe....in between feedings. I'm not into new age hooey, but that shit works for me. But, the job hasn't allowed me the freedom to enjoy a downward dog with a side of warrior. So, I'm back to roaming the halls until the wee hours.
The Husband could sleep thru anything. It takes less than 15 minutes from the time his head hits the pillow until he's enjoying a peaceful REM cycle. The entire Notre Dame marching band could parade into our bedroom, play two or three songs, then parade out and he wouldn't hear a thing. He snores like a freight train with ungreased axles and hogs 3/4 of the bed at any given hour.
Thankfully, there are some nights I start to feel sleepy at a reasonable hour (and there's nothing on the Food Network that interests me or I've see all the reruns of Sex and The City). The Husband is in bed with his laptop watching YouTube videos, porn, something with guitars or whatever because he's not tired. I snuggle down into my pillow, roll over to my left side, tuck my legs up slightly and slowly start to relax. I'm 95% there. I've almost crested the hill to dreamland and I'm about to go thru the gates....
It is at this very moment The Husband decides he's horny and maybe we should have some sex.
Now, before you get all up in my face about I've told you how much I love sex and I like to have it anytime, any place, yada, yada, YADA - let me tell you, I was ready and willing 10-15 minutes before my head hit the pillow. In fact, he'd had the 2-3 hours before the 10-15 minutes to decide to do the deed. I was ready, willing and able. Now, I'm trying to sleep. Just because he's not tired and wants to sleep doesn't give him the right to turn me into his own personal dose of Ambien. I will tell you, that's exactly what he's doing. He's bored of YouTube, there's nothing on TV, he needs to get up early, why not bang the wife and get those endorphins.
Well, I took one for the team. It took me 5 minutes to fully wake up. As always, I enjoyed it. He's a stud, the man, all that and a bag of chips.
It's been 15 minutes since the final orgasm. The 200 decibel snoring has begun and there is a giant, muscled, hairy leg in my area of the bed.
I'm wide awake.
The Husband could sleep thru anything. It takes less than 15 minutes from the time his head hits the pillow until he's enjoying a peaceful REM cycle. The entire Notre Dame marching band could parade into our bedroom, play two or three songs, then parade out and he wouldn't hear a thing. He snores like a freight train with ungreased axles and hogs 3/4 of the bed at any given hour.
Thankfully, there are some nights I start to feel sleepy at a reasonable hour (and there's nothing on the Food Network that interests me or I've see all the reruns of Sex and The City). The Husband is in bed with his laptop watching YouTube videos, porn, something with guitars or whatever because he's not tired. I snuggle down into my pillow, roll over to my left side, tuck my legs up slightly and slowly start to relax. I'm 95% there. I've almost crested the hill to dreamland and I'm about to go thru the gates....
It is at this very moment The Husband decides he's horny and maybe we should have some sex.
Now, before you get all up in my face about I've told you how much I love sex and I like to have it anytime, any place, yada, yada, YADA - let me tell you, I was ready and willing 10-15 minutes before my head hit the pillow. In fact, he'd had the 2-3 hours before the 10-15 minutes to decide to do the deed. I was ready, willing and able. Now, I'm trying to sleep. Just because he's not tired and wants to sleep doesn't give him the right to turn me into his own personal dose of Ambien. I will tell you, that's exactly what he's doing. He's bored of YouTube, there's nothing on TV, he needs to get up early, why not bang the wife and get those endorphins.
Well, I took one for the team. It took me 5 minutes to fully wake up. As always, I enjoyed it. He's a stud, the man, all that and a bag of chips.
It's been 15 minutes since the final orgasm. The 200 decibel snoring has begun and there is a giant, muscled, hairy leg in my area of the bed.
I'm wide awake.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Just 'Cause I'm On A Diet Doesn't Mean I'm Dead.
I flirt shamelessly. I sass the pizza guy for discounts on my weekly pie, I pout at the owner of the deli to get free cookies (he's gay and it still works!), and I use my phone sex voice when I need something from guy on the phone. I admit, it gives me a secret thrill to have a sexual power over these guys. TH calls it sex as a weapon and admonishes me when I do it. It doesn't make him mad. He just says it's not fair. I'm silently promising something these men will never get. They know it. I know it. It's all in good fun and TH gets extra pizza. We all win.
I was reading this article on The Huffington Post yesterday. (LINK) It was about a couple who kept their marriage fresh by harmless flirting. Now, I have to say they were a bit more extreme than I would be. I would never go over a persons house to help them get bread out of a pan and stay for cocktails. But, I indulge myself with some back and forth every day or so. You've seen me do it on my Facebook page. Do I meet up with these guys and have hot illicit affairs? Hell No! I have a gorgeous, sexy, amazing husband in my bed (sometime on the couch). I have no room or need in my life for another penis. But, it never stops me from playing the game.
I got an email the other day from a fan. He mentioned he had erased some comments because he was worried his wife might not approve. I understood. I wrote back and told him I could relate with his wife. (I also offered to meet her for drinks so she could see I'm totally harmless). He wrote back and told me he felt like a piece of shit because he didn't want me to think he would treat his wife poorly or seem like a bad husband. I didn't think that at all. He's been around the page for awhile and we email now and then. He's a sweet guy. (and very cute too, I will add). I would NEVER think way about him. He is a decent. I wrote him a long email back and let him know we were totally cool. He should never worry about the flirtations with me. If he wanted to stop any back and forth, I was fine with him. We're good now. Back to being buddies.....and discussing the finer points of foot massage and my thoughts of lesbianism toward the girl who does my pedicures.
Now, you may ask what is going on during these flirtations. NOTHING. If I'm sparring with you via email or on Facebook, it's all in good fun. I don't have my hands down my pants and I'm not breathing heavy. More often than not, I'm doing some major financial crap or solving an IT crisis while we're talking. I shall give you a moment to marvel at my skillz. Sexual innuendos and whiz bang accounting calculations. I am a goddess.
Keeping a marriage fresh is hard work. I've only been at it for 4 years and I feel it. Those of you going on 10-15 years and you're still getting down and dirty after that amount of time, I bow to you. If you want to email me your secrets, please do. (No pictures. I've filled my quota this year all ready). Harmless, fun and sexy flirtations with a hot piece is an excellent way to add spice to your life without ruining your marriage. "Looky no touchy." The old saying holds true, "Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't look at the menu". If the menu has a sexy man holding a piece of dough smothered with sauce and cheese, I will.
I was reading this article on The Huffington Post yesterday. (LINK) It was about a couple who kept their marriage fresh by harmless flirting. Now, I have to say they were a bit more extreme than I would be. I would never go over a persons house to help them get bread out of a pan and stay for cocktails. But, I indulge myself with some back and forth every day or so. You've seen me do it on my Facebook page. Do I meet up with these guys and have hot illicit affairs? Hell No! I have a gorgeous, sexy, amazing husband in my bed (sometime on the couch). I have no room or need in my life for another penis. But, it never stops me from playing the game.
I got an email the other day from a fan. He mentioned he had erased some comments because he was worried his wife might not approve. I understood. I wrote back and told him I could relate with his wife. (I also offered to meet her for drinks so she could see I'm totally harmless). He wrote back and told me he felt like a piece of shit because he didn't want me to think he would treat his wife poorly or seem like a bad husband. I didn't think that at all. He's been around the page for awhile and we email now and then. He's a sweet guy. (and very cute too, I will add). I would NEVER think way about him. He is a decent. I wrote him a long email back and let him know we were totally cool. He should never worry about the flirtations with me. If he wanted to stop any back and forth, I was fine with him. We're good now. Back to being buddies.....and discussing the finer points of foot massage and my thoughts of lesbianism toward the girl who does my pedicures.
Now, you may ask what is going on during these flirtations. NOTHING. If I'm sparring with you via email or on Facebook, it's all in good fun. I don't have my hands down my pants and I'm not breathing heavy. More often than not, I'm doing some major financial crap or solving an IT crisis while we're talking. I shall give you a moment to marvel at my skillz. Sexual innuendos and whiz bang accounting calculations. I am a goddess.
Keeping a marriage fresh is hard work. I've only been at it for 4 years and I feel it. Those of you going on 10-15 years and you're still getting down and dirty after that amount of time, I bow to you. If you want to email me your secrets, please do. (No pictures. I've filled my quota this year all ready). Harmless, fun and sexy flirtations with a hot piece is an excellent way to add spice to your life without ruining your marriage. "Looky no touchy." The old saying holds true, "Just because I'm on a diet, doesn't mean I can't look at the menu". If the menu has a sexy man holding a piece of dough smothered with sauce and cheese, I will.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Random Thoughts and Musings - Part 2
-I have become a spiller. I have started to spill everything on myself - coffee, mayo, frosting. If it stains, it finds its way to the front of my shirt.
-Rice Crispy treats can be substituted for breakfast.
-My assistant asked me to help assemble his "Otter Box" when it arrives with his new iPhone. Words cannot describe how I will mock him through-out the day.
-For those of you who haven't seen my Facebook post, my cheese from The Fabulous Beekman Boy's is finally coming after being on the wait list for 6 months. I am a food geek and I love cheese. I also love gay men and have this bizarre fantasy I should own a farm even though I don't like to clean up animal poop or get up early. Want this has to do with cheese, I'm not sure. But I'm excited. I'll post photos.
-The Husband has started to buy me these little figurines made out of recycled metal. They're cute, but not my style. And they creep me out. Imagine seeing this first thing in the morning.:
I'm trying to convince him to return to kitchen item gifts before I start having nightmares about metal creatures trying to eat me.
-I am addicted to "Chopped" and the "Iron Chef" on the Food Network. It's becoming an issue.
-I had lunch with my estranged Grandfather on Saturday. We hadn't spoken in over 15 years because he thought I was living in sin. (I was living with my boyfriend out of wedlock - The horror!!!) He's a Mormon so he's a bit touchy about those subjects. It seems like the years have chilled him out a little and we had a nice visit. I didn't tell him about my blog, the fact I'm a sex manic or that I've posed nude for dozens of paintings that have hung in public places and in people's homes.. That might have bought me another 15 years.
-I met one of my followers on Saturday. She was adorable. I think Facebook is the new way to make friends, much like Match.com is making couples.
-I forgot to renew the satellite radio in my company car. My assistant borrowed my car and moments later called me, spitting mad asking where was "our" satellite radio. I think I've spoiled him.
-I read Steve Job's 2005 speech to the Stanford graduates. I'm reevaluating my life. He says to do what you love. Unfortunately, a brothel that serves gourmet food would not pass at town hall meeting because of all the overly conservative blue hairs.
-In all seriousness, I read the speech, it made me think and I've decided I need to be happier. I spent Saturday afternoon and evening cooking. This was the first time in 4 weeks I've been able to really get down and dirty in my kitchen. It was a food orgy. All I'm saying is there was lots of bacon involved.
-Here is the link to the speech. Read the damn thing. Go make yourself happy.
And......scene.
-Rice Crispy treats can be substituted for breakfast.
-My assistant asked me to help assemble his "Otter Box" when it arrives with his new iPhone. Words cannot describe how I will mock him through-out the day.
-For those of you who haven't seen my Facebook post, my cheese from The Fabulous Beekman Boy's is finally coming after being on the wait list for 6 months. I am a food geek and I love cheese. I also love gay men and have this bizarre fantasy I should own a farm even though I don't like to clean up animal poop or get up early. Want this has to do with cheese, I'm not sure. But I'm excited. I'll post photos.
-The Husband has started to buy me these little figurines made out of recycled metal. They're cute, but not my style. And they creep me out. Imagine seeing this first thing in the morning.:
-I am addicted to "Chopped" and the "Iron Chef" on the Food Network. It's becoming an issue.
-I had lunch with my estranged Grandfather on Saturday. We hadn't spoken in over 15 years because he thought I was living in sin. (I was living with my boyfriend out of wedlock - The horror!!!) He's a Mormon so he's a bit touchy about those subjects. It seems like the years have chilled him out a little and we had a nice visit. I didn't tell him about my blog, the fact I'm a sex manic or that I've posed nude for dozens of paintings that have hung in public places and in people's homes.. That might have bought me another 15 years.
-I met one of my followers on Saturday. She was adorable. I think Facebook is the new way to make friends, much like Match.com is making couples.
-I forgot to renew the satellite radio in my company car. My assistant borrowed my car and moments later called me, spitting mad asking where was "our" satellite radio. I think I've spoiled him.
-I read Steve Job's 2005 speech to the Stanford graduates. I'm reevaluating my life. He says to do what you love. Unfortunately, a brothel that serves gourmet food would not pass at town hall meeting because of all the overly conservative blue hairs.
-In all seriousness, I read the speech, it made me think and I've decided I need to be happier. I spent Saturday afternoon and evening cooking. This was the first time in 4 weeks I've been able to really get down and dirty in my kitchen. It was a food orgy. All I'm saying is there was lots of bacon involved.
-Here is the link to the speech. Read the damn thing. Go make yourself happy.
And......scene.
Friday, September 23, 2011
The Husband Finally Gets His Fantasy....Sort Of.
My husband is a pig. Really. I wouldn't lie to you. He is one of the more perverse men I know. Which is why I love him dearly and relish his unique charms and faaaaabulous skills. But sometimes he annoys the ever lovin' shit outta me with his obsession with lesbians. Really. I wouldn't lie to you.
Just like most red-blooded heterosexual men, my husband loves lesbians. Lesbian porn, the thought of lesbians, the thought of ME with the lesbians...I could go on forever. Every single time I tell him about a night out with the girls, he always like to throw in a little extra thought:
Me: So we hung out at Shanna's house, had a few glasses of wine and chatted.
Him: Then you guys all went down on each other?
It's all in good fun, but he never gets it right. None of my friends are lesbians. We don't go down on each other and if one of us happens to get naked, it's because we're trying on clothes.....in a dressing room....at a store. In addition to that, The Husband doesn't find any of my friends attractive. So, even if they were lesbians, his fantasy would be ruined.
Until last week.....
Last week, I had the fortunate pleasure to dine with Ms. Stuck On Cape Cod and her lovely friend...let's call her the Opera Singer. We all had lunch at Bleu in Mashpee. This was the first time I'd met Ms. SSOC. We'd connected thru blogging/Facebook and set up a time to meet. She is adorable, funny, and super classy in an Audrey Hepburn way. We had interesting talks (I'm not sharing, it was girl talk....but some of it had to do with sex....ok....most of it). After going thru the introductions and talking about a few scandalous topics, I came to find out the Opera Singer....let me rephrase that....The Gorgeous Opera Singer...is a lesbian.
Well, this was great! Obviously, this news doesn't affect me at all. I digest that information like someone telling me their zodiac sign, religion, or favorite shade of green. BUT, The Husband, he was going to be over the moon. Finally, his wish came true. One of my girl get-togethers included one of his favorite things....a hot, sexy lesbian.
I told him as soon as I got home. He spent the next 30 minutes Googling her YouTube video's and articles written about her. Then, I told him nothing exciting happened. All we did was drink champagne, eat lunch, chat about sex and check out some clothing at the Gap until we said our goodbyes. No one went down on anyone. There wasn't even a good french kiss.
He seems disappointed, but not totally deflated. Part of his fantasy had come true.
Just like most red-blooded heterosexual men, my husband loves lesbians. Lesbian porn, the thought of lesbians, the thought of ME with the lesbians...I could go on forever. Every single time I tell him about a night out with the girls, he always like to throw in a little extra thought:
Me: So we hung out at Shanna's house, had a few glasses of wine and chatted.
Him: Then you guys all went down on each other?
It's all in good fun, but he never gets it right. None of my friends are lesbians. We don't go down on each other and if one of us happens to get naked, it's because we're trying on clothes.....in a dressing room....at a store. In addition to that, The Husband doesn't find any of my friends attractive. So, even if they were lesbians, his fantasy would be ruined.
Until last week.....
Last week, I had the fortunate pleasure to dine with Ms. Stuck On Cape Cod and her lovely friend...let's call her the Opera Singer. We all had lunch at Bleu in Mashpee. This was the first time I'd met Ms. SSOC. We'd connected thru blogging/Facebook and set up a time to meet. She is adorable, funny, and super classy in an Audrey Hepburn way. We had interesting talks (I'm not sharing, it was girl talk....but some of it had to do with sex....ok....most of it). After going thru the introductions and talking about a few scandalous topics, I came to find out the Opera Singer....let me rephrase that....The Gorgeous Opera Singer...is a lesbian.
Well, this was great! Obviously, this news doesn't affect me at all. I digest that information like someone telling me their zodiac sign, religion, or favorite shade of green. BUT, The Husband, he was going to be over the moon. Finally, his wish came true. One of my girl get-togethers included one of his favorite things....a hot, sexy lesbian.
I told him as soon as I got home. He spent the next 30 minutes Googling her YouTube video's and articles written about her. Then, I told him nothing exciting happened. All we did was drink champagne, eat lunch, chat about sex and check out some clothing at the Gap until we said our goodbyes. No one went down on anyone. There wasn't even a good french kiss.
He seems disappointed, but not totally deflated. Part of his fantasy had come true.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
In Marriage, It's Important To Share
On of the great things about marriage is you have a "captive" audience. Some one you can share the trials and tribulations of life. In short, it's like having your best friend trapped in your home. They have to listen to everything you say. Sometimes thoughts just pop out of my head and into my mouth. I have no edit button. These spontaneous bursts of whimsy shouldn't shock him. He loves me for who I am right? He knew what he was getting into when he married me. He had an adequate vesting time. (Ahem....8 years). During our dating years, I didn't act like your typical woman who hides all her flaws only to pull off the cuteness mask 4 days after the honeymoon to reveal the domineering bitch laying dormant until she felt a wedding band slide on her finger. I layed all my faults out on the table - my low self-esteem, my obsession with bald men (VinDiesel/Jason Statham), my desire for new boobs, my love of snobby food, my love of sex, my obsession with gay porn ectera, ectera. There were no secrets. He married the real me.
Gentlemen, I know you're surprised when I pull out an idea and you're all like "My wife doesn't do that" or "She doesn't think that way" or my favorite "There is no way she would do that". Whatevs! We both know I'm right. So, to help you out (an all the newbies who just started reading my ramblings), here is a quick list of the things women think and do, but don't want to tell you about:
-We have bowel issues. In short, we poop. We don't like to sit in the bathoom for hours, stewing in our stench like you, but we still have to go.
-We wonder about anal sex and have experimented with our finger. It's easier than asking you to experiement. Most of us are embarassed about it. Obviously, I'm not.
-We burp and fart. Yup, we rip 'em out. Mostly to amuse ourselves.
-We're looking thru your stuff. We can't help it.
-Our feet smell. Most of us don't wear socks and feet sweat. What do you think the outcome would be?
-We're watching you when a hot girl walks by and waiting to catch you watching too.
-We tell our girlfriends all the stuff you tell us not to. It's in our DNA to gossip.
-We examine ourselves - sometimes in the mirror. Our parts do more than yours. Sometimes we have to check it out and make sure everything's ok down there.
-We have the same gross health afflictions as you - athletes foot, bad breath, hemorrhoids etc. Nothing escapes us.
-We feel ourselves up. You like to feel them. So do we. Boobs are fun.
-We've picked our nose, teeth etc.
-We sometimes think your penis looks gross. Not that our equipment looks pretty, but your dick is not as attractive as you think it is. It's called manscaping. Get out the scissors and trim up that fuzz!!!
-We've tasted ourselves. We wanted to see what all the fuss is about and make sure we don't taste like you. I've told ya once, I'm gonna tell ya again. Those porn girls are lying when they say cum tastes awesome. It's not a trip to the gourmet buffett. We do it for you. Appreciate it.
-We're thinking about sex with the guy at the next table while we're at dinner with you. Don't seem shocked. You're thinking about banging the girl he's with.
-We watch porn or read "porn like" books.
-We think about sex all the time. Sometimes it's not good thoughts. But we're thinking about it.
It's not a complete list, but is enough to get you started. We're not perfect. We try to be. But we're just like you.
Gentlemen, I know you're surprised when I pull out an idea and you're all like "My wife doesn't do that" or "She doesn't think that way" or my favorite "There is no way she would do that". Whatevs! We both know I'm right. So, to help you out (an all the newbies who just started reading my ramblings), here is a quick list of the things women think and do, but don't want to tell you about:
-We have bowel issues. In short, we poop. We don't like to sit in the bathoom for hours, stewing in our stench like you, but we still have to go.
-We wonder about anal sex and have experimented with our finger. It's easier than asking you to experiement. Most of us are embarassed about it. Obviously, I'm not.
-We burp and fart. Yup, we rip 'em out. Mostly to amuse ourselves.
-We're looking thru your stuff. We can't help it.
-Our feet smell. Most of us don't wear socks and feet sweat. What do you think the outcome would be?
-We're watching you when a hot girl walks by and waiting to catch you watching too.
-We tell our girlfriends all the stuff you tell us not to. It's in our DNA to gossip.
-We examine ourselves - sometimes in the mirror. Our parts do more than yours. Sometimes we have to check it out and make sure everything's ok down there.
-We have the same gross health afflictions as you - athletes foot, bad breath, hemorrhoids etc. Nothing escapes us.
-We feel ourselves up. You like to feel them. So do we. Boobs are fun.
-We've picked our nose, teeth etc.
-We sometimes think your penis looks gross. Not that our equipment looks pretty, but your dick is not as attractive as you think it is. It's called manscaping. Get out the scissors and trim up that fuzz!!!
-We've tasted ourselves. We wanted to see what all the fuss is about and make sure we don't taste like you. I've told ya once, I'm gonna tell ya again. Those porn girls are lying when they say cum tastes awesome. It's not a trip to the gourmet buffett. We do it for you. Appreciate it.
-We're thinking about sex with the guy at the next table while we're at dinner with you. Don't seem shocked. You're thinking about banging the girl he's with.
-We watch porn or read "porn like" books.
-We think about sex all the time. Sometimes it's not good thoughts. But we're thinking about it.
It's not a complete list, but is enough to get you started. We're not perfect. We try to be. But we're just like you.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
All About Me...
I've got lots of new fans. Welcome to my naughty little world. So, I thought I'd give you a quick list of silly and real things about me....ya know....to get to know me better. If you're a regular at this site, well, it's a nice review. It's a chance to say, "Hey, that's why I love her so much!"
1). I'm married. I know, it's a shame. But, he's a stud and I'm happy. No, I will not share.
2). I hate chicken and I hate peanut butter. I know it's un-American, but they're both nasty. (And not in a Rocco kinda way. If you get that joke, you are my favorite)
3). I bake when I'm stressed, mad or sad. Upon entering my house, you may see piles of cookies, breads and assorted baked goods. If that's the case, stay away from me.
4). I love the Blue Collar Comedy channel on XM Radio. Redneck humor is the bomb!
5). I can hook up a computer system but my iPhone continues to confuse me.
6). I hate my job. Even more than the one at Satan's Workshop (old job)
7). I have a cat named Willie.
8). I'm obsessed with Adam Lambert because he reminds me of a guy I was in love with in 5th grade. He was in 8th grade and everyone thought he was gay.
9). I have an orgasm every time I walk into DSW.
10). I have a tiny slit in the tip of my tongue that makes it look forked if I bite t real hard. No, I do not look like a snake or lizard. You can't tell unless I show you.. No, I will not show you.
11). I like gay porn.
12). I collect piggy banks & antique cookbooks.
13). I have a thing for gourmet chocolate.
14). I don't drink alone.
15). I own a Sybian
16). I still have my 6th place overall gymnastics trophy from 1987. It's in a place of honor on a shelf about my desk next to my book on "The Art of Love" (It's a first edition!)
17). Other books on my shelves include Wiccan spell books, books on beekeeping, sex books, psych books and autobiography of Pat Benatar. I like to shock guest with my bizarre reading habits.
18). My favorite book is "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. It's on the shelf too.
19). I cannot make a cup of coffee to save my life.
20). While we're on the subject of coffee, I think Dunkin Donuts tastes like watered down sludge. Gross!
21). I get incredibly turned on watching my husband work.
22). I've had a beta fish for over a year and he refuses to die. He creeps me out, but my mother gave him to me, so I've got to keep him.
23). I'm running the Cleveland 1/2 marathon next year.
24). I refuse to answer my phone line at work. If you want to talk to me, leave a message. I'm busy.
25). Corndogs should be served everywhere. They are ambrosia to me.
26). I've been told my best feature is my hair (followed closely by my ass and my eyes). It's annoying when people run up to me, try to touch it and tell me how beautiful it is. - my hair, not my ass. Although, that happens sometimes as well.
27). I have eclectic taste in music. For example, here's a 10 song shuffle on my iPod:
-Who's That' Girl - Madonna
-Savin' Me - Nickleback
-Blood, Red Sky - Judas Priest
- Pachelbel Cannon in D - Hilary Stagg
-I Like The Way - Bodyrockers
-Prayer - Disturbed
-Rolling in the Deep - Adele
-Hell is For Children - Pat Benatar
-Telephone - Lady Gaga
-Crow and the Butterfly - Shinedown.
28). I drink tea in the afternoon. Not the Tetley crap. I like the good stuff. Teavana is my mecca.
29). I have a degree in Criminal Justice, but I've never used it.
30). I've done some nude modeling. There is a painting of my back hanging in some guys house. It was hanging in the Naked Oyster on Main Street, Hyannis until he purchased it.
31). I crave 1/2 sour pickles.
32). Calvin & Hobbes cartoons make complete sense to me.
33). I like omelets for dinner not breakfast.
34). Big trucks are sexier than sports cars.
35). You should always send a thank you note.
36). My best friend Josh knows everything about me. I've never kept a secret from him.
37). I sexually harass my assistant. He loves it. Who else can I tell about menstrual cramps, cravings and unshaved legs. We've been together for 4 years. He's use to me.
38). Fall is my favorite season.
39). I eat soup for lunch almost every day.
40). I would love to change places with Madonna for one day.
Anything else you want to know? Just ask. It's not like I'd hold back.
1). I'm married. I know, it's a shame. But, he's a stud and I'm happy. No, I will not share.
2). I hate chicken and I hate peanut butter. I know it's un-American, but they're both nasty. (And not in a Rocco kinda way. If you get that joke, you are my favorite)
3). I bake when I'm stressed, mad or sad. Upon entering my house, you may see piles of cookies, breads and assorted baked goods. If that's the case, stay away from me.
4). I love the Blue Collar Comedy channel on XM Radio. Redneck humor is the bomb!
5). I can hook up a computer system but my iPhone continues to confuse me.
6). I hate my job. Even more than the one at Satan's Workshop (old job)
7). I have a cat named Willie.
8). I'm obsessed with Adam Lambert because he reminds me of a guy I was in love with in 5th grade. He was in 8th grade and everyone thought he was gay.
9). I have an orgasm every time I walk into DSW.
10). I have a tiny slit in the tip of my tongue that makes it look forked if I bite t real hard. No, I do not look like a snake or lizard. You can't tell unless I show you.. No, I will not show you.
11). I like gay porn.
12). I collect piggy banks & antique cookbooks.
13). I have a thing for gourmet chocolate.
14). I don't drink alone.
15). I own a Sybian
16). I still have my 6th place overall gymnastics trophy from 1987. It's in a place of honor on a shelf about my desk next to my book on "The Art of Love" (It's a first edition!)
17). Other books on my shelves include Wiccan spell books, books on beekeeping, sex books, psych books and autobiography of Pat Benatar. I like to shock guest with my bizarre reading habits.
18). My favorite book is "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee. It's on the shelf too.
19). I cannot make a cup of coffee to save my life.
20). While we're on the subject of coffee, I think Dunkin Donuts tastes like watered down sludge. Gross!
21). I get incredibly turned on watching my husband work.
22). I've had a beta fish for over a year and he refuses to die. He creeps me out, but my mother gave him to me, so I've got to keep him.
23). I'm running the Cleveland 1/2 marathon next year.
24). I refuse to answer my phone line at work. If you want to talk to me, leave a message. I'm busy.
25). Corndogs should be served everywhere. They are ambrosia to me.
26). I've been told my best feature is my hair (followed closely by my ass and my eyes). It's annoying when people run up to me, try to touch it and tell me how beautiful it is. - my hair, not my ass. Although, that happens sometimes as well.
27). I have eclectic taste in music. For example, here's a 10 song shuffle on my iPod:
-Who's That' Girl - Madonna
-Savin' Me - Nickleback
-Blood, Red Sky - Judas Priest
- Pachelbel Cannon in D - Hilary Stagg
-I Like The Way - Bodyrockers
-Prayer - Disturbed
-Rolling in the Deep - Adele
-Hell is For Children - Pat Benatar
-Telephone - Lady Gaga
-Crow and the Butterfly - Shinedown.
28). I drink tea in the afternoon. Not the Tetley crap. I like the good stuff. Teavana is my mecca.
29). I have a degree in Criminal Justice, but I've never used it.
30). I've done some nude modeling. There is a painting of my back hanging in some guys house. It was hanging in the Naked Oyster on Main Street, Hyannis until he purchased it.
31). I crave 1/2 sour pickles.
32). Calvin & Hobbes cartoons make complete sense to me.
33). I like omelets for dinner not breakfast.
34). Big trucks are sexier than sports cars.
35). You should always send a thank you note.
36). My best friend Josh knows everything about me. I've never kept a secret from him.
37). I sexually harass my assistant. He loves it. Who else can I tell about menstrual cramps, cravings and unshaved legs. We've been together for 4 years. He's use to me.
38). Fall is my favorite season.
39). I eat soup for lunch almost every day.
40). I would love to change places with Madonna for one day.
Anything else you want to know? Just ask. It's not like I'd hold back.
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