Warning: There are lots of naughty links in here. If you're planning on clicking at work make sure your IT guy is totally on board with you checking out the sex toy sites and you're prepared to be known as the office nympho. Obviously, this is not a problem at my office as I work with a bunch of perverts. This might be one of those posts that you read through and then just out the goodies once you get home.
You know how you just know someone is the right fit for your life? That guy at the coffee shop who has your non-fat cafe au lait waiting at the counter for you every morning because he sees your car pull into the lot. The sales clerk at your favorite shop who remembers your size and will call you if someone returns that dress that you were dying to have. Or maybe it's someone that you were "just friends" with and he bought you the vibrator you wanted for Christmas. All these people fit tidily into your life and make it effortless, seamless and happy. Then you marry one and it gets even better.
TH was the friend who got me the vibrator. (duh...did you think that I married the girl who called me about the dress. Sorry, wrong porno) Shocked that I did not own The Rabbit Pearl, he bought me one for Christmas. Fast forward one year, we're dating and the mother of all sex toys was tossed down the chimney and put under the tree. The Sybian.
Now, I was riding up a storm waaaaaaaaay before Howard Stern made this thing famous. I'm sure that you all have heard his show and seen the videos. So, yes....I have one of those things in real life. I think I've mentioned that we have alot of porn? A few times?...........Okay. Well, TH saw the Sybian in a movie and decided that his freaky girlfriend (me)would be the perfect person to try it. He was so right.
The Sybian is great, but just like a blow up doll, it's not a replacement for a real person. (duh!) The attachments are excellent molds of the real deal and feel quite lifelike. The vibration feature could be a little gentler on the start up. It's almost like a "putt, putt, putt" of an old car engine when you first flip the switch and it can be rough on your love button. Once it gets going, it's consistent and produces a nice tingle. The rotation feature could use some work. The low setting is nice and will give you that warm, gooey feeling. But, if you want to let your inner cowgirl out, you may have to pick another stallion. Crank that sucker up to High and you feel like you're being mixed with a swizzle stick. It reminded me of an internal ultrasound. Ick! I'm also wary of anything that you have to plug into a wall socket. It has one of those 3-prong plugs - similar to a heavy duty extension cord. That's some serious current being directed towards your nether regions.
It's also a pain the ass to set up and take down. Obviously, this isn't something that you can just leave out in the middle of your bedroom. Pets and children would take immediate interest and it would be hard to explain to your in-laws. Mine don't usually wander into my bedroom, but I can almost picture my dog dancing proudly into the family room with one of the attachments in his mouth.
So, my Sybian lives in the box it was delivered in and is stored in my home office closet. I pull it out a few times a year if TH is on a business trip and I need a little something extra. The effort to pull the thing out, set it up, lube up attachments, get comfortable, get going, say Oh yeah!, clean everything off and put it away is almost too much when I can grab a mini vibe from my toy chest and polish myself off in less than minute. We've used it together - me riding and giving a "job" at the same time. But, for the hefty price of over $1000, I can think of 54 other things that we could do together and have just as much fun. But, that's just me, lovers. I'm into quick, cheap and easy when it comes to my toys. I could have gone to the "stud ranch" and gotten me a real pony ride for that kinda money.
But, when it's all said and done, I got me a real live stallion for a husband. If I want a hard, fast ride all it costs me is a plate of brownies. He's cheap like that!