Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts - A Jumble of Stuff

  • I have 14 half emptied salt packets in my top desk drawer. Every time I get take-out I use the one that comes with the meal and never remember to finish off an old packet.
  • One of the walls in my office is a gigantic window. There is a tiny goldfinch that has been trying to fly into it for the past two days. When that doesn't work, he perches on the bottom sill, pecks at the window and chirps at me. His mate just sits in the tree and watches him. I keep thinking, "Dumb bitch! Why don't you tell your husband he's wrong"
  • I have been roped into entering a team triathlon in August. My father has asked my sister and I to compete with him. He will be biking 26 miles, my sister will swim 3/4 of a mile and I will run a 10K. Did I mention that this bloody thing is in Cleveland, OH? Cleveland in August. It might as well be on the surface of the sun! It's fucking hot that time of year!
  • Even though my house is only 12 years old, I think we might have a ghost. For some reason or another, my black thong keeps appearing in different places around the house. One day it was on the stairs and the next day it was on the kitchen counter. I have been returning it to my bureau drawer every time I find it. I don't think the previous owner killed anyone in the house. The only crime he committed was to sell all the fill and topsoil in the backyard for cocaine money before he lost the house to the bank.
  • I have to wear my iPod in the late hours of the afternoon because one of the associates sounds like a goober on the phone. It is so painful to listen to that I stick one of the headphones on and try to block it out with Metallica or something else angry. Phrases like "How are you doing with your bad self?" and "Oaky Dockey Shmoocky" make me puke.
  • Fruit flies have invaded our office. They were born in Surfer Dudes pig pen of an office and have since entered the air conditioning vents. The little fuckers evade assassination attempts, fly up your nose and buzz around your head.
  • I have an unfounded belief that soda is bad for you....unless eat it with pizza. There is something about the grease and cheese that cancels out the chemicals.
Here is the iPod shuffle of the day:

1. Black Horse and a Cherry Tree - KT Turnstall
2. Womanizer - Britney Spears (don't judge me)
3. Come Undone - Duran Duran
4. Stupid Girls - Pink
5. Mustang Sally - Los Lobos
6. Techno Syndrome - The Immortals
7. A Neverending Dream - Cascada
8. Standing on the Outside - Dokken
9. Land of Confusion - Disturbed
10. How Long - Hinder

That's a Tuesday wrap, lovers. Don't forget the contest. Send me your goodies!!!


  1. You always tell us not to judge your Britney Spears music. Don't worry! I won't!

  2. Hinder is playing at the base across the street on June 9th..but of course I won't be able to go. *grumble*

  3. It was me that moved your black thong. Sorry. :) You should know by now that I wouldn't judge Britney on your iPod...I think I have all her songs. I guess you could say she's my guilty pleasure?!? How sad am I?

    Soda IS bad for you, even with pizza. Beer is MUCH better. Ha!

    Metallica? I love you.

  4. Are you sure Big K isn't wearing the thong on his head then leaving it around the house when he takes it off? I mean that's what I suspect JR is doing with my white thong.

  5. You're probably so drunk all the time that you don't remember taking off the thong. At least that's what I envision childless life to be like, I miss drinking.

    Yuck on the fruit flies. Maybe they're flying your thong around?

  6. It's the dog, silly, not a ghost! I can't judge you on Britney. As I told Tex, we all have her on our iPods. Some are just too ashamed to admit it. I'm lookin' at you, Badass!!!

  7. I just discovered your blog and an laughing my ass off at your irreverant sense of humor. I'll be back for more

  8. all I can say is, "okey dokey schmookey"??? YIKES. also: keep rocking out to britney. i will always love her, no matter how many breakdowns she has. poor woman.