Thursday, July 23, 2009

Google Me This

I will forever be impressed by the way people find me. I am addicted to my Google Analytic account and spend lots of time reading the reports (yes...I have no life). My real sympathy lies with the people searching for information on diamonds. They always seem to find me. "Rough Cut Diamonds" is one of the top searches that bring the most people to my site. I picture a cute, little old man bent over his workbench searching for information on making jewelry. I can only imagine what he thought when my sweet ass popped on the scene.

Here are a few more for your reading pleasure:

Hooker convention Cape Cod: No Way! Where? How come I didn't hear about this blessed event? I am so sheltered on this peninsula that I have never seen a real live hooker!! If you know where and when, email me! (Note: Why the hell would you guys all meet here? )

Eyes watering fellatio: I hear ya! There are some days when it hits the back of your throat in a way that brings tears to your eyes. I hope my words of wisdom helped. Hell, you spent 20 minutes cruising around the site. I hope you learned something.

Horny Wowmen in West Warwick: I've never heard of a "Wowmen." It's this a new species that I've never heard of? Would VinDiesel be one of the Wowmen? If so, stop looking. He and I are good buddies on Facebook.

How to spot a guy with a skinny penis: I can't help you on this one. Even I'm not that talented. But, you spent 14.5 minutes on my site trying to find your answer.

Will not give head: I ask you this.....Why? I hope I was able to convince you otherwise.

Pillows with voice records: How very James Bond.

Mind over Matter gender of the baby: This poor person was just looking for the parenting advice and stumbled upon me. But, they must have found something they liked. They hung out for over an hour.

Lessons for wives on cowgirl position: Giddee up little buckaroo! I'm all about riding the stallion!

Why is my wife Debbie Batten a jealous cunt: Hmmm. Someone has some anger here.

2009 Cape Cod Stripper: I'm pretty sure they meant to type in "Striper" which is a kind of fish. We have striper tournaments all summer long around here. They didn't find what they were looking for but spent 43 minutes on my site trying to find it.

Gyno finger exam: Yuck. Why would you ever search for that.

I refuse to judge. You wouldn't believe the things I have typed into Google


  1. lol

    I always get a kick every day at looking at my counter and seeing how people find me. The best one today is peach on a penis. Not sure about how that works.

  2. I think I need to check mine. It might be good for a laugh. Now you have some advice on what to use for topics to write about (like how to do cowgirl position). Helpful.

  3. The jealous cunt one got me. Hilarious.

  4. Until you can beat "Gay daddy crushed my penis with the toilet seat" I don't even wanna hear it! ;-)

  5. I wouldn't expect anything less from your search hits.