Friday, August 28, 2009

Bye Bye Banana Bread Baby

This morning at 12:30 am, Deja, the love of my life, died in my arms after losing her battle with liver cancer. She was 14 years old. She had been my baby from the moment I brought her home from the pound at 5 weeks old. She will be cremated and her ashes spread at Nauset Beach in Orleans Ma. It was her favorite spot to swim in the waves and play fetch.

You all may remember my story last December when I found out she was sick. The vet gave her 3 months or so. Wouldn't you know, that stubborn mutt held on for 9 months. It was only just these past 2 weeks that she showed any signs of being sick. She even played fetch yesterday afternoon for a few minutes.

Instead of writing a sob story and crying all over my desk. (that would be impossible because I am totally dehydrated from crying all last night and this morning). I will share a short tale with you about my wonderful, loving, pain in the ass, conniving mutt.

I love to make banana bread. Without bragging too much, I make the best banana bread in the world. It's moist, flavorful, nutless and has just the right amount of spice. After years of rock hard loaves, mushy tasteless loaves and gummy chewy loaves, I gleefully found the perfect recipe while cleaning out my predecessors desk. (He was a gay man who had gone to culinary school. Need I say more?) For months, I made loaf after loaf.

I woke up one morning and made my way down to the kitchen, eager to toast a slice of the fresh bread I had made the evening before. But, all I found on the counter was a cutting board and a knife. Not a crumb in sight. For a split second, I thought Deja had scooped it off the counter. But this was a gigantic loaf. She only weighed 45 pounds. And I had also placed it in the center of the kitchen island. It was at least 3 feet from the edge of the counter top.

So, of course, my next thought was TH. I was seething at the thought of him wrapping up my delicious loaf and carting it off to share with the people who worked for him. That was my bread.

I placed a call and left a vicious voicemail that had no less than 9 profane words and some very clever threats against the junk in his pants. He called me back a few hours later. He hadn't taken the bread. He didn't even know I'd made a loaf.

In short, Deja had eaten the entire loaf. She'd gotten so sneaky that she didn't leave a trace anymore. Her stomach was such a trash compactor, she even ate her breakfast that morning. How a 45 pound dog managed to get a 7 pound loaf of banana bread off a 3 1/2 foot high counter top and eat it without leaving a trace is a secret that has gone with her.

Just to leave you with a more humorous note. Here are a few more things that she managed to ram down her throat in the past 14 years: an entire cork board with thumbtacks, a jumbo box of Wild Berry poptarts (technicolor backyard for a few days after that one), a jar of vanilla body scrub, at least 5 pairs of shoes (when she was a puppy), 4 feet of wall to wall carpeting and just a month ago she ate a 12 pack of hot dog rolls that I'd left on the counter when I went outside to flip the hot dogs on the grill. I was gone for less than a minute. Her amazing ability to "gulp" at the speed of light is a skill that will go unmatched. Her sly nature and scheming earned her the nickname "Weasel Dog".

Please give your dogs a hug for me today.

19 comments:

  1. much hugs to you. its never easy to lose a furbaby:(

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  2. I'm so sorry. I lost me beloved Takeo to a car almost two years ago and it still breaks my heart. I will give Bazooka a huge hug for you today. And consider this a virtual hug for you too.

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  3. I'm so sorry that you lost your doggie. It is really hard. When we lost our beloved Bandit the Border Collie I didn't even last a day before I went out and got another dog. I couldn't face coming home to a dogless home. I'll give Tripper & Nessa big hugs today. Big hugs to you too.

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  4. I'm sorry for your loss. Now, you got any of that banana bread?

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  5. It is a terrible thing to lose a member of your family. May your many memories bring you comfort.
    -Morvy

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  6. I am SO sorry and I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug possible.

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  7. Aw shit I'm sorry. I only met Deja a few times but she was very sweet. Let us know if you guys need anything at all. Hang in there.

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  8. "We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made."
    -M. Acklam

    I am so sorry for your loss. Ginger will be getting all kinds of love today.

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  9. I'll give a big mental hug to the dog I lost a long long time ago and couldn't stand to replace because I couldn't take that pain again.

    Seven pounds?

    Do you ever eat it toasted with cream cheese? SO GOOD.

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  10. So sorry to hear about your dog. Big hug to you.

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  11. It just sucks that animals can't live longer lives! So sorry, my friend ;(

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  12. Aw shit. I'm so incredibly sorry to read this. Sending much love and huge zen hugs your way.

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  13. Okay, so I'm not in a great place right now so I just cried my eyes out. My dog is laying right next to me and he is getting a big hug from me for you. My heart goes out to you...consider this a huge hug from Texas. ((HUG))

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  14. I'm so sorry to hear about Deja. She sounded like a great PITA.

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  15. I'm so sorry to hear that Deja died :(
    I remember when my parakeets died. We had quite a few, and when the first one died I was too young to understand what had happened to him, but when the second one died I was about eight years old and although I went to school, I refused to talk to anyone for a few days and even sat by myself at lunch and recess. I was pretty depressed, and it makes me sad to hear that you had to lose a pet, too.

    On another unrelated, happier note, I love the description of your blog underneath the title :)

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  16. We lost our baby (dog) Aries on March 14th of this year and it still makes me cry everytime I think of her. Dogs give such selfless love and companionship that a big hole in year heart appears when they leave you. It isn't fair that we get such a short time with them. I know it seems soon, but have you thought about adopting another one? We went out and adopted 2 puppies and it does make you feel better although you can never fill the place in your heart for the one you lost.

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