Remember when the lovely Lola sold her soul to the evil, demonic device known as Crackberry. Well, she now has company when she hits rehab. I'm officially a Crackberry Storm user.
The blessed P's bestowed this wonderful gift on me for Christmas. Fancy Pants bought himself one when they first came out and I was green with jealousy. He got it because he had an upgrade available. I was aching to have one but was to miserly to spend $500 on a phone when my currant one was only 9 months old and in top condition. If I had $500 to spend on a whim, you could be sure I would blow it on a pair of Manolos and not a new gadget. So the P's thought it would be a thoughtful present and they threw in a calling plan too. They would pay for all my cell bills. It only took me an hour before I realized that this was a present for them as well. Now that I'm on the company plan, I can't bitch about Partner #3's constant calling. He's footing the bill now. But, I love my new drug and I gave them each a hug as thanks. (See, another New Years Resolution solved!!! I'm trying, people!)
So I have this wonderful new toy that basically lets me take over the world from the palm of my hand. It emails, texts, IM's, browses, navigates, tells time, keeps a calendar, takes pictures, has visual voicemail, plays music, records music, takes videos, plays videos, walks, talks etc, etc.
I cannot figure out how the damn things works.
For 3 days, I wasn't receiving any phone calls but I could get voicemail. I whined to Fancy Pants and he informed me I had it on "airplane mode" (whatever the fuck that is). It's got this fabulous touchy, clicky screen instead of buttons. I use it like a drunken, 2nd grader. My fat little fingers never seem to touch the screen at the right area, thus enabling me to send a text message to Partner #3 that read: "I didn't find it on the agenda. I will put it in the que and sit on top of it." Of course, not trumping the message to Partner #1 that stated: "I will be on top of him and make sure it stays hard" (I'd wanted to say, "I will be on top of him and make sure it stays heard") Spell check didn't catch those suckers.
If I don't have it on vibrate (Ohhhh vibrations!), it is constantly making noise. Dinging, ringing, music, it never shuts up. It snarfs everytime something happens. There is a different sound for every action. The problem is, I can't figure out which action. It makes a sound, I pick it up and spend 10 minute figuring out which function happened. Did I get a text message, an email, an instant message, or heaven forbid....an actual phone call?
Very often I forget to lock the screen. So, when I jam it in my purse, something will push against the screen and dial someone, text someone or maybe reposition a satellite or two. I swear that this thing can do that.
But, my very favorite part of this beauty is the media feature. I was tapping around on the screen when suddenly a movie trailer started playing, starring Vin Diesel! My phone has Vin Diesel on it and it vibrates.
That's good enough for me!