Although I talk, drink and obsess about sex like a guy, I still have the tiniest amount of estrogen that makes me think like a girl. Most of the time I suppress it. But, on Valentines Day it oozes into my bloodstream and weaves it's way around my limbs until it reaches that crazy part of my brain. Guys, you know which part I'm talking about. The part that makes us women need, want and just HAVE to have something on this very day that resembles the ending of a Hallmark Made For TV movie.
I love romance. I love, love, I LOVE it! I love romantic stories and romantic movies. I've seen "Titanic" 47 times and I still cry at the end as she's saying "I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." I get all gooey when I see couples holding hands while walking on the beach, I sigh over romantic novels and I would give a day of my life if my husband would just be the tiniests bit of a tradional romantic and actually like doing it.
TH is the most generous, caring, loving man that I know. I wouldn't trade him for all the Vin Diesels in the world. But, a romantic, he is not. (Someday I will tell you the story of his marriage proposal.) He is affectionate, but shows it in a slightly different way than the traditional sense. Here's an example:
Typical Saturday night in the household: both of us are on the couch. He's watching TV and reading guitar websites on his laptop. I'm reading some sappy Nora Roberts paperback. (Don't judge. It's my mindcandy) I've just read some really steamy, romantic passage in my book and I glance over at TH to smile and sigh wistfully. He looks up, sees me mooning at him and says, " You're a dork". This clever exchange will be repeated 3-4 times that evening and may or may not be combined with a full on bodyslam by TH, followed by a hard hug, after which he returns to the tube and his laptop. That is his way of telling me he loves me. Thus concludes our romantic interlude, ladies and gents. But, it works for us.
I use to put tons of pressure on Valentines Day. We HAD to do something romantic. We NEEDED to do the dinner out with fancy dishes. I WANTED to get dressed up and gaze at him over soft candle light. I would start planning a week in advance. Asking him over and over, "What do you want to do for Valentines Day?" He would answer in typical and what he thought was correct male fashion, "Whatever you want, dear". Well, what I wanted was for him to come up with some elaborate romantic plan and surprise me. Every year I was bummed out when it all fell through and we just went out to a fancy restaurant (that I picked and made the reservations) and then went home.
This year, I decided I'd had enough. Valentine's Day was just going to be like any other day. I figured if I didn't get all hyped up about it, I wouldn't be disappointed when it turned out to be nothing. Two weeks ago, I told TH that I didn't want to do anything special. He eyed me with the typical male suspicion and said, "Are you sure? This isn't one of those tricks that where you say you don't want anything and then get mad when nothing happens, right." But, I was serious. I told him I just wanted to spend a quiet night at home, watch a movie and have something fun for dinner. He still wasn't convinced. But, I was going to prove him wrong.
All week while I was fighting that fucking cold, I didn't think about Valentines Day once. It was amazing! No stress, no getting mad because he wasn't excited about making elaborate romantic plans. Today, I feel light as a feather. I just have to pick up the movie and the ingredients for dinner. I'm not worried he's going to come home, tired and stressed from work only to dress up and be dragged out to a 2 1/2 hour dinner that he will miserably sit through because he knows I love stuff like that.
So, our non-romantic evening will be as follows: watching the "Transporter 3" (Action for him, shirtless hunk for me) and eating homemade Tapas in our sweats. Try not to be jealous of our coolness.
(Yes, I am still hoping for something romantic. I cannot tell a lie. It's hard to change 10 years of bad habits. But, I'm trying to suppress. Maybe I need a Hustler and some girl on girl porn. Wish me luck!)