Saturday, February 14, 2009

I'm Refusing to be Romantic Today

Although I talk, drink and obsess about sex like a guy, I still have the tiniest amount of estrogen that makes me think like a girl. Most of the time I suppress it. But, on Valentines Day it oozes into my bloodstream and weaves it's way around my limbs until it reaches that crazy part of my brain. Guys, you know which part I'm talking about. The part that makes us women need, want and just HAVE to have something on this very day that resembles the ending of a Hallmark Made For TV movie.

I love romance. I love, love, I LOVE it! I love romantic stories and romantic movies. I've seen "Titanic" 47 times and I still cry at the end as she's saying "I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go." I get all gooey when I see couples holding hands while walking on the beach, I sigh over romantic novels and I would give a day of my life if my husband would just be the tiniests bit of a tradional romantic and actually like doing it.

TH is the most generous, caring, loving man that I know. I wouldn't trade him for all the Vin Diesels in the world. But, a romantic, he is not. (Someday I will tell you the story of his marriage proposal.) He is affectionate, but shows it in a slightly different way than the traditional sense. Here's an example:

Typical Saturday night in the household: both of us are on the couch. He's watching TV and reading guitar websites on his laptop. I'm reading some sappy Nora Roberts paperback. (Don't judge. It's my mindcandy) I've just read some really steamy, romantic passage in my book and I glance over at TH to smile and sigh wistfully. He looks up, sees me mooning at him and says, " You're a dork". This clever exchange will be repeated 3-4 times that evening and may or may not be combined with a full on bodyslam by TH, followed by a hard hug, after which he returns to the tube and his laptop. That is his way of telling me he loves me. Thus concludes our romantic interlude, ladies and gents. But, it works for us.

I use to put tons of pressure on Valentines Day. We HAD to do something romantic. We NEEDED to do the dinner out with fancy dishes. I WANTED to get dressed up and gaze at him over soft candle light. I would start planning a week in advance. Asking him over and over, "What do you want to do for Valentines Day?" He would answer in typical and what he thought was correct male fashion, "Whatever you want, dear". Well, what I wanted was for him to come up with some elaborate romantic plan and surprise me. Every year I was bummed out when it all fell through and we just went out to a fancy restaurant (that I picked and made the reservations) and then went home.

This year, I decided I'd had enough. Valentine's Day was just going to be like any other day. I figured if I didn't get all hyped up about it, I wouldn't be disappointed when it turned out to be nothing. Two weeks ago, I told TH that I didn't want to do anything special. He eyed me with the typical male suspicion and said, "Are you sure? This isn't one of those tricks that where you say you don't want anything and then get mad when nothing happens, right." But, I was serious. I told him I just wanted to spend a quiet night at home, watch a movie and have something fun for dinner. He still wasn't convinced. But, I was going to prove him wrong.

All week while I was fighting that fucking cold, I didn't think about Valentines Day once. It was amazing! No stress, no getting mad because he wasn't excited about making elaborate romantic plans. Today, I feel light as a feather. I just have to pick up the movie and the ingredients for dinner. I'm not worried he's going to come home, tired and stressed from work only to dress up and be dragged out to a 2 1/2 hour dinner that he will miserably sit through because he knows I love stuff like that.

So, our non-romantic evening will be as follows: watching the "Transporter 3" (Action for him, shirtless hunk for me) and eating homemade Tapas in our sweats. Try not to be jealous of our coolness.

(Yes, I am still hoping for something romantic. I cannot tell a lie. It's hard to change 10 years of bad habits. But, I'm trying to suppress. Maybe I need a Hustler and some girl on girl porn. Wish me luck!)


  1. Sometimes the best romance happens on movie nights.

  2. Kat: oh you can bet there will be "that" type of romance. I don't care if I have to drug his Tapas!

  3. Loved this and can sooooo relate! Wishing you an evening of as romantic as it gets! Blessings, Lisa

  4. Transporter 3 sounds awesome! And eating tapas? My dream date! Move over, CCG!

  5. I'm alone and working on Valentine's Day while my wife is in New Jersey and my son is at his grandparent's. So my romantic night will consist of getting off work at 11 pm, driving home and actually getting to watch computer porn with the sound on for a change!

  6. Nothing wrong with mindcandy romance novels. I read them also because I read smart shit all day. Have fun tonight. Let us know if Big K comes through with some romance.

  7. Huslter? Girl-on-girl porn?

    I'm there.

  8. Ha, this is the exact reason we don't celebrate V Day around here. There's a twinge of girliness in me but rather than be disappointed when I have to tell my man exactly what to do and get me, we just don't celebrate. I'm dying to hear this proposal story now..

  9. cw2mom: Thanks, Girl!

    Heather: Turns out Transporter doesn't come out until March 10. We watched "Death Race". Not bad.

    Daddyfiles: Why do you need computer porn? Didn't someone recently give you some real porn?

    Michele: That is the same reason I hit the mindcandy books. I don't have to think while reading them.

    BadAss: I'm not really into threesomes, sweetie. But, I might make and exception for you!! :)

    Casey: I'll write about it soon. It was really sweet and funny.

  10. Oh yeah Death Race was good. Anything with Jason Statham...yummy.

  11. I'm the one who wants to stay in on V-Day and hubby is the one wanting to take me out ... do something.

    Of course - I won.

    And because I won and didn't have to do the dress up, go out, sit in uncomfortable chairs for a few hours ... in the end, he won. Big time. ;-)

  12. Heather: YES! Jason is the man. I want to grate cheese on his abs!

    Debbie: I'm assuming "he won, Big time" met that he got some this V-day! Good girl! Yeah for lots of steamy V-day sex!!!

  13. I am SO glad I am not the only one who has a thing for Jason Statham! I love watching all his movies because they are action for my husband and eye candy for me. My husband always jokes around that Jason is a shortie (he is only about 5'7") but I always tell him that it doesn't matter if we meet when we are horizontal:)

  14. Sounds like a good time to me! Valentine's is like New Year's Eve - too much pressure and not very much fun if you buy into it.

    Hope you got some good lovin'!

  15. Diana: 5'7" works for me. He is such a hottie!!!

    Lola: My thoughts exactly!

  16. awww.
    man... that sounds so awesome haha.
    i spent valentines day... watching shitty movies on tv and being depressed because none of my friends wanted to hang out with me.