Monday, February 9, 2009

Mind Over Matter, Baby.

It finally happened. I said it wouldn't, but it did. I pranced around the office on my high horse, cackling "Na Na, Na, Na Na, It never happens to me. My body is a temple and I take care of myself." It happened to everyone in the office, old and young, fit and flabby, rich and poor. Now it's got me.

The dreaded cold.

I felt it creeping up on me Thursday night, but chose to ignore the signs. Even when I woke up on Friday morning with a throat so sore that I felt like I had swallowed razor blades, I still wouldn't believe it. I convinced myself that it was all the salt from the margaritas I had drunk the night before. The soreness dissipated with a few hot cups of coffee and a mug or two of tea. Mind over matter, baby. That tiredness and soreness was from working out at the gym. I just had to suck it up and deal with it. I even managed to push myself through a heavy leg routine and 45 minutes on the treadmill.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling hung over. Dry mouth, achy, sore muscles....but I wasn't sick. No! I was just tired. I pushed myself to my kick boxing class at 9:30 am. I could do it. I felt even worse after class. But don't I always? After a 20 minute, steam filled shower and a massive mug of green tea I felt energized and ready to go. See, I'm not sick. I managed to ride that high for 3 hours as I plowed through paperwork at my office and gulped down 2 pints of homemade chicken noodle soup. I was fine. I refuse to be sick.

Relief flooded me as my 2 o'clock meeting cancelled. I was exhausted for some reason. But, I still had to make it to the produce market and to the grocery store before I met Firecrotch at the movies at 4:00. Rushing around made me lightheaded and achy, so I popped 2 Maximum Strength Benadryl and crossed my fingers. I was having a girls night out and I wasn't going to be a wimp.

I felt great after the movie. The Benadryl had kicked in and the huge Fanta soda and cinnamon soft pretzel put me right again. Sugar, carbs and a chick flick. Cures everything. My health totally improved after a massive pasta dinner that included a huge basket of bread sticks and some sort of chocolate dessert of death. I got home at 9:15, feeling fine...just a little tired. But, it was a long day, right? And I had just eaten my body weight in pasta. Going to bed a 10:00 on a Saturday night was perfectly acceptable.

Sunday I felt even worse. Now I had a cough AND a dry, sore throat. That didn't stop me from going to brunch with TH. When I got home I started my Sunday chores: laundry, vacuuming, clean the bathrooms and a major tidy overhaul. I was just finishing up the master bathroom when I got the dizzy spell. It was all down hill from there. I camped out on the couch for the remainder of the afternoon, pickled in Dimetapp Cough Syrup. By 5 pm I had completely lost my voice.

Today, I'm in the office. But, I am totally stoned on Bendadryl. The only way to keep from coughing is to drink copious amounts of hot liquids. Of course, this is making me pee every 15 minutes. My nose is running, I'm hacking up yellow stuff and I'm pretty sure my head is going to exploded any minute. I have told everyone I have allergies. The deathly palor of my skin is from a winter chill and the sneezing is from early hay fever.

But, I'm not sick....I'm not!


  1. Um ... yes. You are.

    Go home and take care of yourself.

  2. Oh no, not you too. Get the green Cepasol cough drops, they'll numb your throat and temporarily rid you of the razor blades. Hope you feel better soon, being sick is terrible. I mean, not being sick, in your case.

  3. Go home!!

    If not for your own health then for everyone else's.

  4. Girl, if you came into my office oozing yellow snot, I'd kick your ass right back out. You can be Superwoman later, take a day off.

  5. Dude, you're sick. But I won't tell a soul.

  6. Yeah. Go home and "take care of yourself." Wink wink.

    Sorry, I'm in a good mood because that loaner you gave us worked wonders last week! Sandwiches galore!! We both said it feels like we're dating again. Nothing like some porn and financial instability to bring us right back to our early 20s when it was still cute to live like refugees from the frat house! =)

    Feel better.

  7. Yeah, I'm not sick either. I just feel like I've been run over by a snowmobile, and I can't swallow without wanting to cry. I'm fine, and so are you!!!

  8. I've been lucky to miss getting a cold so far this winter. I like to think I have a superior immune system, but really I just avoid people.

  9. Aaaw....feel better soon!