Monday, April 27, 2009

And Then He Fired Me....

I am bitter today. I am cranky, annoyed and on the verge of being just plain upset. I don't know why I let him get to me. I don't know why I let myself get all riled up when I know he does it just to get that reaction.

If you're a faithful reader, you know the demon I'm referring to.

Last Tuesday, I mentioned that he was being eerily nice to me. That was short lived. I shouldn't have jinxed myself. He came looking for me on Thursday morning when I was out of the office. When Fancy Pants told him I wasn't going to be back until around noon he laughed and said that was unacceptable and I was fired. He told Fancy Pants that he should move himself into my office. (obviously this is all a big joke) When I returned to the office and Fancy Pants told me the story, I tried to laugh it off. I walked into The Evil Ones' office and said, "So, I'm fired?". He laughed his maniacal chuckle and said, "Who told you that? I wanted to be the one to tell you."

All of this sounds pretty innocent and in other situations this would be humorous. But, it is my hourly fear that this will happen. That some day I won't be available to cater to a whim or I might make a mistake, he'll get a hair across his ass, all the slaving will be forgotten and I will be gone.

I hate that someone has this power over me. Not the power to fire me - everyone has that over their head - but the power to make me stress me make me upset. I hate that he enjoys it. I hate that he knows my other stressors and pokes at them. I hate that I try every day to give him 150% and it means nothing at all. I hate that I wait like an abused dog for an ounce of approval only to be beaten down an hour later. I hate that this matters so much to me. I hate that I still feel like I have to try harder even though I know it doesn't make any difference. I hate that this makes me look weak and shows off my shattered self-esteem. I hate being controlled. I hate that I let myself be controlled. I hate that I don't know what to do about it.

I hate that just wrote all of this down and will actually publish it. But, I do feel better now.


  1. I am sooooo sorry that you have to work in an environment like that where someone actually gets pleasure from treating another person in that manner. It's cruel and heart-wrenching! I know how hard it is, but know that people like that always get theirs and that IF this door closes, another one is going to open! Let go and let God handle it! You shouldn't have to endure such stress! Hang in there darlin'! Love, Lisa

  2. I would start looking for a new job asap. This guy is evil.

  3. Lisa: Thanks for the support!

    Kat: The funny thing is, I love my job. I just hate his abuse!

  4. Have you found any of his buttons? I would probably avoid him as best you can.

    I find a picture of Kermit the Frog does well to raise your spirits. Find a nice 5x7 and frame it. Whenever someone asks about it, you can just say your going green.

    Thanks for remembering me over at my blog ;)

  5. I've been in your situation and even though I'm a cold hard bitch, people still affect me to the point where I want to jab my eyes out with a fork. I won't give you lame advice like, "You'll be fine" or "Just let it roll off" because when people say that shit to me I want to punch them in the face. All I can tell you is that I understand and I'm sorry you're having to deal with those fuckers at work. Let me know if I need to come break some knee caps. :)

  6. It's probably not feasible to look for another job in today's economic climate. So, if it were me, I would consider homicide. Honestly, who's not to believe that asshat DIDN'T OD on liquid white out?

  7. Wow he sounds like such a fun guy to work for. I think my stress levels would be through the roof. In fact, I used to work for a guy like that. He was the senior partner in the law firm I worked for and even though I did three people's work, and did it flawlessly, he took great delight in standing inches from my face and telling me how stupid I was in 15 different ways. It's just not worth it.

    Much as I'd love to say "go look for another job", as someone before me's just feasible. So, I say take to drinking copious amounts of booze at work. Takes the edge off!

    Thanks for stopping by my page again! I smiled a big smile when I saw you'd been by!

  8. As if joking about firing someone in this economy is funny. What a tool! Self-employment is a rough gig, I tell ya, but at least I don't have to work with anyone I don't like.

    I think what you need to do is meet me for drinks. I'll bring a homemade shrunken apple head voodoo doll in his likeness, and we'll get to work. E-mail me his pic, and I'll get started immediately. "Tool" curses are my specialty!

  9. I live in fear of getting fired, too. My supervisors never talk to me unless I've screwed up, so each time they say they need to talk to me, my stomach drops.

    He needs a reality check. And by reality check, I mean he needs to have someone get into his face and scare this SHIT out of him to put him back into his place.

  10. The bastard!!!!! Joking about firing you is in really poor taste. If I didn't know how much you like your job I'd say you need to start a job search. I'm sorry my friend that he is a jerk. You don't deserve that.