Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Random Tuesday - Slave Style

More from slaving at Satan's Workshop:

To keep myself from chugging coffee all day (I have an addiction), I hit the shut off switch at 4 cups or by noon o'clock. It is at this time I switch to tea. It is not uncommon for me to answer the question of "What are you doing right now" with "I'm in my office teabagging." What? That's an innocent answer, right? I'm steeping my tea. Therefore, I'm teabagging. Just because you have a dirty mind and think teabagging is something other than placing a tea bag in hot water and waiting until it's done doesn't mean I think that way. Oh, who am I kidding. I was totally thinking that.

Yesterday I ate a turkey sandwich and it left a bit of a deli like odor in my office. Surfer Dude is now calling my office "The Meat Box".

We are having an office meeting this week in which alcohol and appetizers will be served. It is 2 hours before my kickboxing class. If I don't eat and drink, my coworkers will call me a pussy. If I do eat and drink, I will throw up five minutes into my kickboxing class. If I skip my kickboxing class, my trainer will make me cry when he finds out why I skipped class. I'm thinking I'm fucked either way. Might as well enjoy the booze and food.

I'm trying out this new deodorant that is aluminum free and all natural. It looks like a huge hunk of salt that you moisten and then rub under your armpits. It's been 2 days and I still smell ok. I'm a little nervous. I have a B.O. phobia. I have the chemical loaded back up deodorant in my car just in case. I keep doing the fake stretch and taking a quick sniff. So far, so good.

Before I get too into complaining about work I should mention that the Boston Bruins are KICKING ASS!!! It's all I can do not to dry hump my TV. Why didn't they play this way when we had season tickets?

I watched "Two Weeks Notice" last night and was frightened at how similar it was to my life. Well, kinda similar. There is not way in holy hell I would fall in love with one of the partners. YUCK!

I was in the office early one morning and saw a little slip of hot pink lacey material on the stairs going down to the second floor. As I got closer, I realized it was a pair of underwear. I started to think, "OMG! Someone was getting busy in the office last night and their visitor forgot their panties!" Then, I realized that they were the same ones that I'd wore the day before. They must have fallen out of my bag after I'd changed in the ladies room before going to the gym. It was then that I dropped to my knees and thanked God that I'm usually the last person to leave the office and the first person to come in.
Tuesday was one of my favorite days last year. It's the day that the landscaping crew comes to mow and tidy our property. Watching hot, yummy sweaty guys working in the hot sun while I'm in a cool, climate controlled office was heaven. This years crew is something out of the dirty, unwashed, hairy men pile. I may have to call and voice my displeasure.

That's Tuesday wrap, lovers.


  1. Hmmmm...teabagging, meat box. Weird how these terms follow you wherever you go ;)

  2. A huge hunk of salt? That sounds like something I'd like to rub in my tender underarms.

    Vancouver is 3-0 on St. Louis. Woot!

  3. I worked Maintenance for a hotel one summer, and I would always catch the lady folk staring.

    Funny how Man + Sweat = Attractive only if there is hard manual labor involved.

  4. I thought you didn't wear panties? When you said you had to stop yourself from dry humping your TV I spewed my soup. LOL!

  5. I'd be afraid of smelling too, I HATE smelling and living in FL, that's a danger I live with every day. You panty slut, leaving your drawers lying around.

  6. Ah, yes, my Bruins!!!! Sadly, we will probably have a much bigger challenge on our hands in the next series. Too fun watching the Habs fans boo their own damn team, though!!!!!

    Our new lawn mower guys are all ugly, too ;(

  7. Partner #3 saw your panties. That's why he's being nice. :) He's probably thinking of the pootang he doesn't get at home.