To Porn or Not To Porn

I don't mind porn. In fact, I kinda like it. It's an interesting way to spend time with your mate and it adds a little "omph" to your sex life.

I use to be completely uncool about it. Whenever my ex-boyfriend watched it, I felt like he was cheating on me. I would freak out, get upset, cry, withhold sex and make him feel dirty and low. At the time I must have had some logical explanation, but it completely escapes me now. Did I think that he was actually going to hook up with these women? My God, I had self-esteem issues. Now I don't care. But, I think that it's scary I have become so desensitized that I don't even flinch if I walk into the bedroom and it's on.

No, I'm not a sex maniac or a freak. If everyone would open up their minds and eyes they would see that there are few people in this world that don't engage in some type of eroticism. If you are reading a Danielle Steel novel and you are enjoying those steamy passages about "Reginald's throbbing member", you are enjoying porn. Soft core porn, but porn all the same. Everyone is lead to believe that porn is some dirty movie or a seedy peep show. Porn can be found just about anywhere. Just look.

Porn isn't perverted. Well, there are some kinds of porn that are totally disgusting and even I won't comment on those. But, there is tasteful porn, funny porn and incredibly sexy porn. But, one of my favorite things to do while watching is give added commentary--totally annoys Big K. I might be brushing my teeth in the bathroom and yell out, "She's faking it" or "No women in the world likes that done to her" There are sometimes that I know a woman is faking it. Of course everyone has different tastes, speeds and likes...but a woman knows. Some story lines are so funny that you can't get the desired enjoyment because these people are trying to act and you are laughing too hard. Nothing kills a erotic moment like your wife laughing hysterically....especially if your wife snorts when she laughs really hard.

In a fit of boredom one night, I watched the E True Hollywood Story on Jenna Jameson (very famous porn star). I hate to admit it, but this woman is really smart. She has created an entire industry around herself. Her girl on girl movies have sold zillions of copies. I guess there are lots of horny men out there. Surprisingly, porn stars don't make that much money unless they're really famous. Imagine bonking some fat, nasty guy for hours just because he has a large package while an entire camera crew watches and you leave with only a few thousand bucks and possibly a weird gynecological condition. EWWW!

My friend Josh has always told me that I missed my true calling in life. He thinks that I should be a porn star. We've already established the fact that I have no breasts and I'm pretty sure that Big K would have something to say about that. Just because I like sex, talk about sex and watch sex doesn't mean that it's my destiny to do the nasty with icky men on film so that some person can use it to wack off later. Yeah, I'm all set with that.

I have yet to do a Pamela & Tommy Lee and go homemade. Big K can't be convinced. My mother was horrified when she found a vibrator in my purse. Imagine if she was looking through our DVD collection and thought "Fun Night 8/1/08" was a home movie of Big K and I grilling on the patio. She'd pop that sucker in and lose her mind in 2 seconds flat.

Now, don't go thinking that my house is like a dirty movie theatre. Believe me, there is more crime dramas, hockey, NASCAR and chick flicks being viewed than Rocco, Jules Jordon, Jenna and all those other nymphos. Neither myself nor Big K will be joining David Duchovny as he is recovering from his "problem". But, why shouldn't you check out some interesting talent every now and then. You might learn a few things.