Monday, March 16, 2009

Lustful For Life

I was once referred to as "lustful" and I wasn't even discussing sex. Of course, being the guttered minded nymphette that I am, confusion set in. I had been describing my love of food. Where was the sex in that? Bananas, cucumbers and whipped cream weren't even mentioned. I needed my Merriam Webster to look up the meaning of lust.

Lust: n. strong sexual desire.>a passionate desire for something.>chiefly theology a sensuous appetite regarded as sinful. v. (usu. lust for/after) feel lust for someone or something.

Alright, I admit it. All three of those definitions describe me.

I will go complete, totally overboard when describing something I enjoy. During my short stint as a waitress, I routinely sold the most expensive entree special because I described it so well. One woman told me I looked "euphoric" when I explained how the mascapone and apricot filling in the stuffed pork chop would melt in your mouth. To watch me express my love for a particular restaurant is an experience all its own. Just stay the name and my hands will clasp at my chest as I outwardly groan and say "Ohmygod!!! I love that place. Are you going there? Ohmygod!! You should order this or this or this. And don't forget to try this....Ohmygod! That place is soooooooo goooood!" To watch me eat there is an even greater experience. I have been near swooned on more than one occasion as I took my first bite of the baked stuffed quahog (that's a kind of clam for all you non-seafood eaters) swimming in melted butter with a few dashed of hot sauce and sea salt (my mouth is actually watering as I type this). Fellow diners will give me that same look that Meg Ryan got when she had her fake orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally". Yes, lovers. That is me as I make love to a fantastic corn beef Reuben on pumpernickel. Co-workers are never surprised if they walk by my office and hear me making tiny mewing sounds as I nibble on a cookie. If I really like it, I make sure everyone knows about it.

The same can be said for those that I adore. People love to use me as a reference. (Be mindful, I'm very selective of who I recommend). I will gush and gab about how unbelievable so-and-so is and how they would be perfect at what ever they do. In short, I'm over the top.

So, if you are ever in a "toy" shop and spy a tall blond with her hands clasped at her chest, jumping up and down exclaiming..."YES! You have to buy that one. It's AMAZING!" or you're in a restaurant and there is a woman in the booth next you making soft whimpering sounds as she digs into her steak and cheese sub, say hi to her. It could very well be me.


  1. I do the same thing with a good cheesecake. *swoon*

  2. Crap that was me up there I just didn't change my user name cause I am goob!

  3. Good for you!! We should all take a lesson from you and your lust for life and food! When I visited a friend's house recently he had the most HEAVENLY cinnamon bread loaf that we toasted and dipped into steaming hot chocolate! I ooooohhhh and ahhhhhhhed like you said! There's nothing like being grateful and enjoying the simple pleasures of life! Blessings to you and thanks for this delightful entry! Lisa

  4. Ummm. I forgot to ask...what kind of "toy" shop? LOL!

  5. I like that about you. ;) Miss ya! I promise to try to be good and visit more often. Don't spank me.

    Alright. Maybe a little.

  6. Kat: I LOVE LOVE LOVE cheesecake!

    Cw2smom: I love cinnamon bread toasted with lots of butter. We have a fab bakery around here that makes huge loaves with big thick slices. Yummy as french toast too! Oh...and the toy's the naughty toy shop. Read last weeks entry on Wednesday. I gave a review of my latest find!

    Wayne: Where the hell have you been? I have been dishing on the juicy stuff and you've been MIA. I thought I lost you to the dark side. You bet there will be spankings and you will like them! :)

  7. I do the same thing in "toy" stores. There's really only one store I feel comfortable doing it in anymore though...the other one creeped me out when the guy who worked there started joining in on my enthusiasm.

    I'd LOVE to sit next to you in a restaurant. It might make the whole experience more enjoyable.

  8. I get very excited over good food and good wine, so I totally understand ;)

  9. Captain Dumbass: Just saying it gives me tingles

    Madwoman: The guy at our local video store is like that. Makes me feel icky. If you sat near me in the restaurant you would just laugh and laugh. I'm crazy!

    Lola: Doesn't get much better!!!

  10. If I had A PHOTO OF YOU for reference, I would know for sure if that was you in the dildo shop the other day ;)

  11. We really do need to spend time together because I so totally do lustful.

  12. I get the occasional foodgasm. Most recently, while at the Cheesecake Factory.

  13. Heh, I love it. Is it wrong that I get that same feeling when I pop a McDonalds fry into my mouth? Cheap date but I still get euphoric over fries.

    BTW, Jamie ordered me a present, something you recommended a few posts ago.

  14. Casey: YEAH!!! Good for you! I expect full reviews!

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