Lustful For Life

I was once referred to as "lustful" and I wasn't even discussing sex. Of course, being the guttered minded nymphette that I am, confusion set in. I had been describing my love of food. Where was the sex in that? Bananas, cucumbers and whipped cream weren't even mentioned. I needed my Merriam Webster to look up the meaning of lust.

Lust: n. strong sexual desire.>a passionate desire for something.>chiefly theology a sensuous appetite regarded as sinful. v. (usu. lust for/after) feel lust for someone or something.

Alright, I admit it. All three of those definitions describe me.

I will go complete, totally overboard when describing something I enjoy. During my short stint as a waitress, I routinely sold the most expensive entree special because I described it so well. One woman told me I looked "euphoric" when I explained how the mascapone and apricot filling in the stuffed pork chop would melt in your mouth. To watch me express my love for a particular restaurant is an experience all its own. Just stay the name and my hands will clasp at my chest as I outwardly groan and say "Ohmygod!!! I love that place. Are you going there? Ohmygod!! You should order this or this or this. And don't forget to try this....Ohmygod! That place is soooooooo goooood!" To watch me eat there is an even greater experience. I have been near swooned on more than one occasion as I took my first bite of the baked stuffed quahog (that's a kind of clam for all you non-seafood eaters) swimming in melted butter with a few dashed of hot sauce and sea salt (my mouth is actually watering as I type this). Fellow diners will give me that same look that Meg Ryan got when she had her fake orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally". Yes, lovers. That is me as I make love to a fantastic corn beef Reuben on pumpernickel. Co-workers are never surprised if they walk by my office and hear me making tiny mewing sounds as I nibble on a cookie. If I really like it, I make sure everyone knows about it.

The same can be said for those that I adore. People love to use me as a reference. (Be mindful, I'm very selective of who I recommend). I will gush and gab about how unbelievable so-and-so is and how they would be perfect at what ever they do. In short, I'm over the top.

So, if you are ever in a "toy" shop and spy a tall blond with her hands clasped at her chest, jumping up and down exclaiming..."YES! You have to buy that one. It's AMAZING!" or you're in a restaurant and there is a woman in the booth next you making soft whimpering sounds as she digs into her steak and cheese sub, say hi to her. It could very well be me.